Terry Pratchett Quotes

… you were so worried about legal and illegal that you never stopped to think about whether it was right or wrong.

I believe you find life such a problem because you think there are good people and bad people. You're wrong, of course. There are, always and only, the bad people,

A lot of the stories were highly suspicious, in her opinion. There was the one that ended when the two good children pushed the wicked witch into her own oven...Stories like this stopped people thinki...

Rings try to find their way back to their owner. Someone ought to write a book about it.

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun....

Fear is a strange soil. It grows obedience like corn, which grow in straight lines to make weeding easier. But sometimes it grows the potatoes of defiance, which flourish underground.

There was no safety. There was no pride. All there was, was money. Everything became money, and money became everything. Money treated us as if we were things, and we died.

Granny Weatherwax had a primal snore. It had never been tamed. No one had ever had to sleep next to it, to curb its wilder excesses by means of a kick, a prod in the small of the back, or a pillow use...

The only thing known to go faster than ordinary light is monarchy, according to the philosopher Ly Tin Wheedle. He reasoned like this: you can't have more than one king, and tradition demands that the...

Bursar?Yes, Archchancellor?You ain't a member of some secret society or somethin', are you?Me? No, Archchancellor.Then it'd be a damn good idea to take your underpants off your head.

And he read all morning, but just to make it interesting, he put lots of dragons in it.

YOU FEAR TO DIE?It's not that I don't want... I mean, I've always...it's just that life is a habit that's hard to break...

A young man of godlilke proportions* was standing in the doorway.* The better class of gods, anyway. Not the ones with the tentacles, obviously.

There’s lots of people will help you with alcohol business, but there’s no one out there arranging little meetings where you can stand up and say, ‘My name is Sam Vimes and I’m a really suspicious bas...

But I did not return until half past four this morning and I distinctly remember stubbing my toe on the stairs. I am as drunk as a skunk, Drumknott, which of course means skunks are just as drunk as I...

He was the sort of person who stood on mountaintops during thunderstorms in wet copper armour shouting 'All the Gods are bastards.

Haven’t you got any romance in your soul?’ said Magrat plaintively. ‘No,’ said Granny. 'I ain’t. And stars don’t care what you wish, and magic don’t make things better, and no one doesn’t get burned w...

This book had two authors, and they were both the same person.

Listen, Peaches, is what humans are all about, said the voice of Maurice. They're so keen on tricking one another all the time that they elect governments to do it for them.

Everyone has gods. You just don't think they're gods.