Terry Pratchett Quotes

Death: "THERE ARE BETTER THINGS IN THE WORLD THAN ALCOHOL, ALBERT."Albert: "Oh, yes, sir. But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them.

There are things so horrible that even the dark is afraid of them. Most people don't know this and this is just as well because the world could not really operate if everyone stayed in bed with the bl...

Humans need fantasy to be human.

Rincewind stared, and knew that there were far worse things than Evil. All the demons in Hell would torture your very soul, but that was precisely because they valued souls very highly; evil would alw...

Veil, you see, if I vas to say something portentous like zer dark eyes of zer mind back home in Uberwald, zer would be a sudden crash of thunder,' said Otto. 'And if I vas to point at a castle on a to...

And so the children of the revolution were faced with the age-old problem: it wasn't that you had the wrong kind of government, which was obvious, but that you had the wrong kind of people. As soon as...

Miss Dearheart gave him a very brief look, and shook her head. There was movement under the table, a small fleshy kind of noise and the drunk suddenly bent forward, colour draining from his face. Prob...

Everyone knew there were wolves in the mountains, but they seldom came near the village - the modern wolves were the offspring of ancestors that had survived because they had learned that human meat h...

There are some laws that are coded into the very nature of the universe, and one is: There Is Never Enough Shelf Space.

Just to keep the bad dreams at bay, she took a swig out of a bottle that smelled of apples and happy brain-death.

[Science fiction is] out in the mainstream now. You can tell by the way mainstream literary authors pillage SF while denying they're writing it!

You don't have to chase around after creatures, Pismire had said. You watch them for long enough, and then you'll find the place to wait and they'll come to you. There's nearly always a better way of...

Firstly, said Ponder, Mr Pessimal wants to know what we do here.Do? We are the premier college of magic! said Ridcully.But do we teach?Only if no alternative presents itself, said the Dean. We show ‘e...

About sweeping)....What he was in FACT doing was moving the dirt around with a broom, to give it a change of scenery and a chance to make new friends.

There have been better attempts at marching, and they have been made by penguins.

Dedication: My thanks to the people who showed me that opera was stranger than I could imagine. I can best repay their kindness by not mentioning their names here.

Never promise to do the possible. Anyone could do the possible. You should promise to do the impossible, because sometimes the impossible possible, if you could find the right way, and at least you c...

You didn’t warn us about this, Readier,’ said Stowley resentfully.Gilt waved his hands. ‘We must speculate to accumulate!’ he said. ‘The Post Office? Trickery and sleight of hand. Oh, von Lipwig is an...

Tiffany has been apprenticing as a witch by visiting people in need with her mentor. After meeting with one particularly sad case, she tells her mentor, It shouldn't be like this. Her mentor replies,...

But we're a university! We to have a library! said Ridcully. It adds . What sort of people would we be if we didn't go into the library?Students, said Senior Wrangler morosely.