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Jean Shepherd Quote

Randy lay there like a slug. It was his only defense.

Jean Shepherd

Randy lay there like a slug. It was his only defense.

Tags: funny, humor, humorist

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I'm bored with that line. I never use it anymore. My new line is 'In 15 minutes everybody will be famous.'

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I once took a poo in the woods while hunched over like an animal. It was AWESOME.

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Marketing is so powerful that it can make even an extremely untalented musician a one-hundred-hits wonder.

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It was an emergency!" Seth blurted. "Read my lips - emergency reading - not some demented idea of fun. If I was starving, I would eat asparagus. If somebody held a gun to my head, I would watch a soap...

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It is usually unbearably painful to read a book by an author who knows way less than you do, unless the book is a novel.

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There would definitely be way fewer instances of cheating, if the average couple did not have sex only when the woman feels like it.

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Whenever they are condemning weaves or breast implants, some people speak so passionately that their false teeth almost fall out.

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The fact that the person who you are sleeping with is also sleeping with another person or other people does not necessarily mean that he or she does not love you. And the fact that you are the only p...

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Even so have I given the womb of the earth to those that be sown in it in their times.

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It is still cheating, even if nobody comes.

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About Jean Shepherd

Jean Parker "Shep" Shepherd Jr. (July 26, 1921 – October 16, 1999) was an American storyteller, humorist, radio and TV personality, writer, and actor. With a career that spanned decades, Shepherd is known for the film A Christmas Story (1983), which he narrated and co-scripted, based on his own semiautobiographical stories.