Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child.
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'.
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
There is one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says 'yes' you know he is crooked.
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I hav...
Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does
It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy i...
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
Humor is reason gone mad.
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women.