So where should we start? It’s helpful to begin with habits that most directly strengthen self-control; these habits serve as the Foundation for forming other good habits.
Pouring out ideas is better for creativity than doling them out by the teaspoon.
People who feel less guilt and who show compassion toward themselves in the face of failure are better able to regain self-control, while people who feel deeply guilty and full of self-blame struggle...
One parent of a Rebel explained, The best way to wrangle the Rebel child is to give the kid the information to make a decision, present the issue as a question that he alone can answer, and let him ma...
One lives in the naïve notion that later there will be more room than in the entire past. —Elias Canetti, The Human Province
Obligers, however, often dislike their Tendency. They’re vexed by the fact that they can meet others’ expectations, but not their expectations for themselves.
My home is a place of unconditional belonging, which is part of its pleasure, part of its pain—as Robert Frost wrote, home is Something you somehow haven’t to deserve. At home, I feel a greater sense...
Lack of sleep negatively affects mood, memory, immune function, and pain sensitivity; it makes people more likely to fight with their partners; it contributes to weight gain.
It turns out that stating a problem clearly often suggests its solution.p 32
It struck me, in fact, that all of my work on habits and happiness was meant to help us construct, as much as possible, just that: everyday life in Utopia. Everyday life with deep, loving relationship...
Instead of contradicting pessimistic or negative statements, acknowledge them. Happiness leeches are often less emphatic when they feel that others recognize their views. • Act the way I want to feel;...
I'm not tempted by things I've decided are off-limits, but once I've started something, I have trouble stopping. If I never do something, it requires no self-control for me; if I do something sometime...
I should tailor my habits to the fundamental aspects of my nature that aren’t going to change. It was no use saying I’ll write more every day if I team up with another writer, and we race to see who c...
I realized that one way to deprive myself without creating a feeling of deprivation is to deprive myself totally.
How I Like to Spend My Time At what time of day do I feel energized? When do I drag? Do I like racing from one activity to another, or do I prefer unhurried transitions? What activities take up my tim...
Happy people generally are more forgiving, helpful, and charitable, have better self-control, and are more tolerant of frustration than unhappy people, while unhappy people are more often withdrawn, d...
Happiness doesn’t always make you feel happy. Activities that contribute to long-term happiness don’t always make me feel good in the short term; in fact they’re sometimes downright unpleasant.
Habit makes it dangerously easy to become numb to our own existence. For
For work: I bought some pens. Normally, I used makeshift pens, the kind of unsatisfactory implements that somehow materialized in my bag or in a drawer. But one day, when I was standing in line to buy...
Eventually I learned to reject this advice. Somehow, I figured out that it was easier for me to resist certain temptations by never giving in to them.