Obligers, however, often dislike their Tendency. They’re vexed by the fact that they can meet others’ expectations, but not their expectations for themselves.
My home is a place of unconditional belonging, which is part of its pleasure, part of its pain—as Robert Frost wrote, home is Something you somehow haven’t to deserve. At home, I feel a greater sense...
Lewis’s brilliant essay On Three Ways of Writing for Children:
It would be impossible for me to eat one square of chocolate a day. For the rest of the day, I’d be thinking about that bar of chocolate. In fact, I discovered that the question Could you eat one squa...
It turns out that stating a problem clearly often suggests its solution.p 32
It struck me as poignant that my long relationship with my beloved grandparents could be embodied in a few small objects. But the power of objects doesn't depend on their volume; in fact, my memories...
It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light. —G. K. Chesterton What’s
In the chaos of everyday life, it’s easy to lose sight of what really matters, and I can use my habits to make sure that my life reflects my values.
How I Like to Spend My Time At what time of day do I feel energized? When do I drag? Do I like racing from one activity to another, or do I prefer unhurried transitions? What activities take up my tim...
By giving something up, I gain.
As Samuel Johnson said, To hear complaints is wearisome alike to the wretched and the happy.
Although some people assume that strong feelings of guilt or shame act as safeguards to help people stick to good habits, the opposite is true. People who feel less guilt and who show compassion towar...
Although people often assume that cravings intensify over time, research shows that with active distraction, urges—even strong urges—usually subside within about fifteen minutes.
Although I’d initially underrated its value, the true significance of the fourth element—the atmosphere of growth—had become clearer to me over time. As William Butler Yeats wrote, Happiness is neithe...
According to Aristotle, Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.
A willingness to be pleased requires modesty and even innocence--easy to deride as mawkish and sentimental.
A sense of growth is so important to happiness that it’s often preferable to be progressing to the summit rather than to be at the summit.
The real key to habits is decision making—or, more accurately, the lack of decision making
There are many compelling reasons to exercise, but study after study shows that weight loss isn’t one of them. The way to lose weight is to change eating habits.
The first and most important habits question is: How does a person respond to an expectation? When we try to form a new habit, we set an expectation for ourselves. Therefore, it’s crucial to understan...