These small, everyday actions had their own value; the pressure of my daily habits would mold my future. These habits were little things on their own, but their combined weight was massive. I thought...
Intentions, also known as action triggers or if-then planning. If ________ happens, then I will do _______. With if-then planning, we try to plan for every habit challenge that might arise, so we don’...
They’re perceived to be more friendly, warmer, and even more physically attractive. A study showed that students who were happy as college freshmen were earning more money in their midthirties—without...
Things often get harder before they get easier.
Think about appearances. I wanted my apartment to be less cluttered, and also to look less cluttered.
When it comes to fake food, I’m like Samuel Johnson, who remarked, Abstinence is as easy to me as temperance would be difficult. In other words, I can give something up altogether, but I can’t indulge...
This freedom from decision making is crucial, because when I have to decide—which often involves resisting temptation or postponing gratification—I tax my self-control.
This is one of the many paradoxes of happiness: we seek to control our lives, but the unfamiliar and the unexpected are important sources of happiness.
This self-knowledge is crucial because we can build a happy life only on the foundation of our own nature, our own interests, and our own values.
Whatever liberates our spirit without giving us mastery over ourselves is destructive. And whatever liberates our spirit while giving us mastery over ourselves is constructive.
When we do stumble, it’s important not to judge ourselves harshly. Although some people assume that strong feelings of guilt or shame act as safeguards to help people stick to good habits, the opposit...
To achieve greater clarity in my actions, I often invoke a bright-line rule, a useful concept from law. A bright-line rule is a clearly defined rule or standard that eliminates any need for interpreta...
The marriage expert John Gottman calls the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse for their destructive role in relationships: stonewalling, defensiveness, criticism, and contempt. Well,
Note: people weigh their highest on Sunday;14 their lowest, on Friday morning.)
Making. A habit requires no decision from me, because I’ve already decided.
Leisure must be entered on the schedule as its own activity; it’s not something I get only when I have nothing else to do. Because I always have something else to do. Having
To do the intellectually demanding work of writing, I leave my home office and my three beloved computer monitors to work at the wonderful old library that’s just a block from my apartment. The atmosp...
Tomorrow Loophole: As part of my investigation of First Steps, I’d identified tomorrow logic. Now doesn’t matter, because we’re going to follow good habits tomorrow.
Two kinds of clarity support habit formation: clarity of values and clarity of action. The clearer I am about what I value, and what action I expect from myself—not what other people value, or expect...
UPHOLDER/Obligers must be sure to articulate inner expectations and to create boundaries to protect inner expectations from outer interference.
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