She eagerly meets society’s rules and laws until they conflict with her own inner sense of justice—at which point she rejects them.
One-Coin Loophole: Whether we choose to focus on the single coin or the growing heap will shape our behavior.
Of the Four Tendencies, Obligers struggle most often against the temptations of loopholes. Rebels don’t make excuses to justify doing what they want; Upholders and Questioners feel a greater pressure...
Lack of sleep negatively affects mood, memory, immune function, and pain sensitivity; it makes people more likely to fight with their partners; it contributes to weight gain.
Lack of Control Loophole: Weirdly, we often have an illusion of control over things we can’t control—If I spend a lot of time worrying, the plane is less likely to crash, If I play my lucky numbers, I...
Instead of contradicting pessimistic or negative statements, acknowledge them. Happiness leeches are often less emphatic when they feel that others recognize their views. • Act the way I want to feel;...
I sat on that crowded bus, I grasped two things: I wasn’t as happy as I could be, and my life wasn’t going to change unless I made it change. In that single moment, with that realization, I decided to...
I realized that one way to deprive myself without creating a feeling of deprivation is to deprive myself totally.
Hors d’oeuvres have always a pathetic interest for me.… They remind me of one’s childhood that one goes through, wondering what the next course is going to be like—and during the rest of the menu one...
Habits speed time, because when every day is the same, experience shortens and blurs; by contrast, time slows down when habits are interrupted, when the brain must process new information.
Habit makes it dangerously easy to become numb to our own existence. For
For most people, whenever possible, important habits should be scheduled for the morning. Mornings tend to unfold in a predictable way, and as the day goes on, more complications arise—
Eventually I learned to reject this advice. Somehow, I figured out that it was easier for me to resist certain temptations by never giving in to them.
Each day gave me a new opportunity to push the task off until tomorrow. Tomorrow, I’d feel like dealing with it. Start now, I finally thought. Just take the first step. I started with the smallest pos...
But while it’s true that helping other people makes us happier, and that people feel a distinct helper’s high, it’s also true that when people are unhappy, they often find it tough to help others. If...
And of course, arriving at one goal usually reveals another, yet more challenging goal. Publishing the first book means it’s time to start the second. There’s another hill to climb. The challenge, the...
Also, accomplishing small tasks boosts our sense of self-efficacy. The more we trust ourselves to follow through on our own commitments, the more likely we are to believe that we can keep an important...
After someone's death, how strange to see the value drain away from his or her possessions; useful objects such as clothes, or dish towels, or personal papers become little more than trash.
Actually spending ten minutes clearing off one shelf is better than fantasizing about spending a weekend cleaning out the basement.
70 percent of long-term gym memberships are mostly unused, but a dog needs walking every day.