The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending and to have the two as close together as possible.
Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
There isn't a thing I can't do now that I didn't do when I was twenty-one...which gives you an idea of how pathetic I was when I was twenty-one. (That's a lie, but I might as well tell you something r...
I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
At my age flowers scare me.
I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.
I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.
Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.