Top Stephanie Plum Quotes

I blink back the threat of tears, swiped at my nose and narrowed my eyes. Listen to me, you two bags of monkey shit, I yelled. I am not in a good mood. My car keeps stalling. The day before yesterday...

I ran three miles, staggered into the lobby, and took the elevator back to my apartment. No point to overdoing this exercise junk. --Stephanie Plum

Why do you give me cars?It's fun, Ranger said.And it keeps you safe. Do you want to know why keeping you safe is important to me?You love me?Yes.A sigh inadvertently escaped. We're really screwed up,...

You've been busy using your breaking and entering skills, I said.I just enter. I don't usually break.You broke down Pitch's door.Lost my temper.-Ranger and Stephanie

It wouldn't kill you to flirt a little, so I don't remember this assignment as totally sucking. I'm babysitting a guy who thinks he's a leprechaun, and I'm rescuing a has-been horse. The least you cou...

Do you see that man in the black Porsche? I asked the women.They squinted out at Ranger. Yes, they said.Your partner.He's homeless. He's looking for a place to stay and he might be interested in renti...

In spite of all the sparring that went on between us, I sort of liked Morelli. Good judgment told me to stand clear of him, but then I've never been a slave to good judgment.

I was completely out of clean clothes. That meant I could be a slut and sleep naked , or I could be a slob and sleep in what I was wearing. Truth is, I'm not entirely comfortable sleeping naked. I do...

I don't need shoes. I need a night scope. You think they sell night scopes someplace here?

Yeah. Almost as surprising as when you nailed me with your father's car.In the interest of avoiding confrontation, I felt compelled to explain. I didn't feel obliged to do it convincingly. It was an a...

Honey, Half the women in NJ have sold him their cannolli -Conie to Stephanie about Joe Morelli (One for the money)

I went to the beauty salon today and got spruced up, Grandma said. Ever since Mildred Frick called me a slut my phone hasn't stopped ringing. I got two dates for the weekend. It might not be such a go...

Lucille must have fed him a Vallium smoothie this morning.

I kicked my shoes off, shuffled out of the black jeans and carted an armload of food into my bedroom. I switched the television on and crawled into bed with the channel changer. Do I know how to have...

I paused for a light at Hamilton and TWlfth and noticed the Nissan was running rough at idle. Two blocks later it backfired and stalled. I coaxed it into the center of the city. Ffft, ffft, ffft, KAPO...

[Stephanie] This won't be so bad, I said to her, making an effort at convincing myself. How about your blanket? We could wrap him up in the blanket. Then we could pick him up without actually touching...

When I was six years old I sprinkled sugar on my head, convinced myself it was pixie dust, wished myself invisible, and walked into the boys' bathroom at school.

Stephanie: I have a list of Kenny's friends. I'm going to run through it.Morelli: Where'd you get this list? Stephanie: Privileged information.Morelli: You broke into his apartment and stole his littl...

Next time I fall in love it's going to be with someone who isn't an expert in fibbing.You're in love with me?You didn't know that?I did, but it's nice to hear.Scares the hell out of me.

I don't believe this, Morelli yelled. I don't fucking believe this. What do you do, sit in bed at night and think about ways to fuck up my life?