speaker: I have only ten minutes and hardly know where to begin. voice in back: Begin at the ninth.
The recipe for a good speech includes some shortening.
I don't want to be patronizing . . . that means "talking down."
If any of you are related to our main guest let me know so I can speak slowly.
I'd like to introduce a man with a lot of charm talent and wit. Unfortunately he couldn't be here tonight so instead . . .
I'm moving down here . . . because some of you in the back might not be able to hear my talk . . . and that wouldn't be fair to those who can hear it.
We were worried that our main speaker wouldn't be able to make it tonight. But fortunately due to a hole in the prosecution's case . . .
I was told to be accurate be brief and then be seated. ... So I promise I shall be brief as possible - no matter how long it takes me.
A good speech like a woman's skirt should be long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest. I have been asked to give my address in the remaining five minutes. That I can do!...
My job is to talk to you and your job is to listen. If you finish first please let me know.
As one skeleton said to the other - if I had any guts I'd get the heck out of here.
When I told her we were going to roast her she said "Of course . . . they only crucify the innocent."
As my mother used to say: "Mimic a duck act calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like crazy underneath."
I sort of feel like Cindy Crawford's new husband on their wedding night. I know what's expected of me. I'm just not sure I've got the ability to make it interesting.
When I was preparing for this speech I asked my family for advice. One member replied "There's a first time for everything so try to be funny and brief."