Top Openers Quotes

A good speech like a woman's skirt should be long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest. I have been asked to give my address in the remaining five minutes. That I can do!...

As one skeleton said to the other - if I had any guts I'd get the heck out of here.

Some people might say that I think too highly of you just because I worship the water you walk on.

After such an introduction I can hardly wait to hear what I'm going to say.

We will then hear from the founder of the Mayo Clinic . . . Dr. Ted Clinic.

I'd like to introduce a man with a lot of charm talent and wit. Unfortunately he couldn't be here tonight so instead . . .

I was told to be accurate be brief and then be seated. ... So I promise I shall be brief as possible - no matter how long it takes me.

My father gave me these hints on speech making: Be sincere ... be brief ... be seated.

I sort of feel like Cindy Crawford's new husband on their wedding night. I know what's expected of me. I'm just not sure I've got the ability to make it interesting.

I'm moving down here . . . because some of you in the back might not be able to hear my talk . . . and that wouldn't be fair to those who can hear it.

When I told her we were going to roast her she said "Of course . . . they only crucify the innocent."

As my mother used to say: "Mimic a duck act calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like crazy underneath."

I don't want to be patronizing . . . that means "talking down."

When I was preparing for this speech I asked my family for advice. One member replied "There's a first time for everything so try to be funny and brief."

My job is to talk to you and your job is to listen. If you finish first please let me know.