Top Joke Quotes

We sometimes try to impress people we just met by not trying to impress them.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Joke Definition

(n.) Something said for the sake of exciting a laugh; something witty or sportive (commonly indicating more of hilarity or humor than jest); a jest; a witticism; as, to crack good-natured jokes.

(n.) Something not said seriously, or not actually meant; something done in sport.

(v. t.) To make merry with; to make jokes upon; to rally; to banter; as, to joke a comrade.

(v. i.) To do something for sport, or as a joke; to be merry in words or actions; to jest.

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.

Saying that you do not remember something or someone is a less embarrassing or hurtful way of saying that you do not know it or them anymore.

People will say,"there's heaven and hell", and they take it so serious that they look so sorrowful with penitence. I would rather ask them to show me the route that leads to heaven or hell.

My maid never sweeps under the bed so I asked her to do so today. Found a pen, three pairs of shoes and the man I had lost two years ago.

Some men would not still be HIV negative or alive, if they had managed to sleep with some of the women with whom they want or wanted to have sex.

We would not be ashamed of doing some of the things we do in private, if the number of sane human beings who do them in public were large enough.

Its crazy when people of high moral standards, feel its okay for an intimate friend to insult them in a jovial way, forgeting that even casual friends can do just the same in a jovial way.

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

The average adult hates being treated like a child, unless it suits them.

Not everyone who has killed themselves because they were HIV positive would have been killed by AIDS.

Whenever He answers prayers, God usually prioritizes those by people who, instead of their mouths, have prayed with their hands and/or feet.

Some disabled people spend a significant amount of their energy on trying to come across as abled or as not that disabled.

We have glorified wealth and freedom so much that it is impossible for most of us to truly believe that a man can truly be happy in a shack or within the confines of a prison cell.

Because he has finally realized that it is it and not him that is loved by the woman he loves, many a man is jealous of his own car, house, wardrobe, or salary.

There probably was a time when the idea of having a toilet inside a house was repulsive.

A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there. A theologian is the man who finds it.

We the living are to blame for the painfulness of being dead.