Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses.
Fish and company start to smell after three days.
I asked my publisher what would happen if he sold all the copies of my book he'd printed. He said "I'll just print another ten.
One of the problems with being a writer is that all of your idiocies are still in print somewhere. I strongly support paper recycling.
God in his infinite wisdomDid not make me very wise-So when my actions are stupidThey hardly take God by surprise.
I haven't been wrong since 1961, when I thought I made a mistake.
Fs Are "Fabulous" Hey, Mom and Dad! I got my grades!And you'll be thrilled to hearthe marks on our report cards are changed around this year. A bunch of kids were telling methis morning on the bus,tha...
Public schoolboys are not merely conservatives, they are by nature totalitarian reactionaries.
It was entirely possible I would sexually assault him if I got too close.
Writing is like a lump of coal. Put it under enough pressure and polish it enough and you might just end up with a diamond. Otherwise, you can burn it to keep warm.
I m not funny, really m not !!! I just tell people the truth, and then they start laughing and say haha you are funny...but seriously m not!!!
What does "poet laureate" mean? Nothing. It means a person with laurel branches twined around his head. Which is not something people do much now.
From the beginning, when something was wrong I've been saying: 'Dilly-ding, dilly-dong, wake up, wake up!' So on Christmas Day I bought for all the players and all the staff a little bell. It was just...
Ouch! What are you doing, Karl, you broke my skull!
...if you want to add a little spice to your life, plant some dill. And learn to salsa.
Tighten your seat belt and enjoy the ride of life.
Shit, I have already read this....
As the year goes on, certain deputies—and others, high in public life—will appear unshaven, without coat or cravat; or they will jettison these marks of the polite man, when the temperature rises. The...
Ben walks in the room and asks, What were you guys doing? Nikki says Nothing at the same time I say, Your sister and I were just makin’ out.
Bouncer, recognizing a well-wisher, got up, and thrust his cold, wet nose under her hand, assuming as he did so the soulful expression of a dog who takes but a benevolent interest in cats, livestock,...
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