Top Humor Quotes

Maybe a holiday miracle will change Mearth’s awful behavior, Mandy suggested with optimism.The only holiday miracle around here is that Mearth hasn’t murdered us both yet, said Alecto, lighting anothe...

I wear my past around my shoulders as a fine, but worn, cloak. Don't be fooled by my cloak's appearance, I have a three piece underneath.

Humor Definition

(n.) Moisture, especially, the moisture or fluid of animal bodies, as the chyle, lymph, etc.; as, the humors of the eye, etc.

(n.) A vitiated or morbid animal fluid, such as often causes an eruption on the skin.

(n.) State of mind, whether habitual or temporary (as formerly supposed to depend on the character or combination of the fluids of the body); disposition; temper; mood; as, good humor; ill humor.

(n.) Changing and uncertain states of mind; caprices; freaks; vagaries; whims.

(n.) That quality of the imagination which gives to ideas an incongruous or fantastic turn, and tends to excite laughter or mirth by ludicrous images or representations; a playful fancy; facetiousness.

(v. t.) To comply with the humor of; to adjust matters so as suit the peculiarities, caprices, or exigencies of; to adapt one's self to; to indulge by skillful adaptation; as, to humor the mind.

(v. t.) To help on by indulgence or compliant treatment; to soothe; to gratify; to please.

A stab had clearly once been made at de-uglifying these public spaces by painting a corridor a jaunty yellow. This was because, it turned out, babies come here to have their brains tested and someone...

Not much more than a broke disgrace who's hooked on tonics, so excuse him if his poker face has puke on it.

I beseech thee, O Lord, let me have understanding: For it was not my mind to be curious of the high things, but of such as pass by us daily.

He has artistry, he repeated. Because that's what it takes to blow things up. And cook his arm.

I do not do free e-books. I occasionally like to eat that thing you people call "food".

Bob had a dog buscuit stuck to his head. How does he always get food stuck to him? I asked Morelli. I don't know, Morelli said. It's a Bob mystery. I think stuff falls out of his mouth and he rolls in...

It's funny when people say something is "unreal" about something that is, in reality, real. I'm so guilty of it, it's real!

This is your copy of , is it, Potter?Yes, said Harry, still breathing hard.You’re quite sure of that, are you, Potter?Yes, said Harry, with a touch more defiance.This is the copy of that you purchase...

And I loved Fats Waller. I love his instrumental abilities, his vocal abilities and his sense of humor.

Never before have the tools of value creation been so great and the potential artisans so busy watching the Kardashians.

You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really un-evolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. "I believe God created me in o...

Didn't you have any sadistic nannies who told you these tales to keep you quiet and well behaved at night? Heavens, what's to become of the Empire if governesses have lost their touch for scaring the...

There’s no need to say anything to Mr. Turing. I was the one who wasn’t watching where I was going You were the one? Mavis said indignantly. Turing never pays the slightest attention to where he’s goi...

I'm sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It's just been too intelligent to come here.

I don't know how many of you have ever met Dijkstra, but you probably know that arrogance in computer science is measured in nano-Dijkstras.

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

My ears are too beeg for my head. My head ees too beeg for my body. I am not a Siamese cat ... I AM A CHIHUAHUA!"

I like to see an angry Englishman, said Poirot. They are very amusing. The more emotional they feel the less command they have of language.