Top Humor Quotes

Scientists need to invent a way to make DNA work like in cartoons.

There is also this benefit in brag, that the speaker is unconsciously expressing his own ideal. Humor him by all means, draw it all out, and hold him to it.

Humor Definition

(n.) Moisture, especially, the moisture or fluid of animal bodies, as the chyle, lymph, etc.; as, the humors of the eye, etc.

(n.) A vitiated or morbid animal fluid, such as often causes an eruption on the skin.

(n.) State of mind, whether habitual or temporary (as formerly supposed to depend on the character or combination of the fluids of the body); disposition; temper; mood; as, good humor; ill humor.

(n.) Changing and uncertain states of mind; caprices; freaks; vagaries; whims.

(n.) That quality of the imagination which gives to ideas an incongruous or fantastic turn, and tends to excite laughter or mirth by ludicrous images or representations; a playful fancy; facetiousness.

(v. t.) To comply with the humor of; to adjust matters so as suit the peculiarities, caprices, or exigencies of; to adapt one's self to; to indulge by skillful adaptation; as, to humor the mind.

(v. t.) To help on by indulgence or compliant treatment; to soothe; to gratify; to please.

She was spontaneously created by the midichlorians,' I said. Both women gave me blank looks. 'Never mind.

Her name is Brienne, Jaime said. Brienne, the maid of Tarth. You still maiden, I hope?Her broad homely face turned red. Yes.Oh, good, Jaime said. I only rescue maidens.

Go play your games with Jim. I'll find you both when I need you. Arrogant asshole. I tell you what, if you find us before those three days run out, I'll cook you a damn dinner and serve it to you nake...

Earnshaw is quite a famous name, thanks to Miss Brontë . I did not realise there were Earnshaws in this country.Mrs. Earnshaw gave a sharp nod. Aye. And Heathcliffs and Eyres, as well. Proper little t...

Only you can change yourself, no one else can.

A good many times I have been present at gatherings of people who, by the standards of the traditional culture, are thought highly educated and who have with considerable gusto been expressing their i...

Love is a hook; the moment a man swallows it, a woman knows she has him forever.

Yeah, but the lost diadem, said Michael Corner, rolling his eyes, is , Luna. That's sort of the point.

We can get you a throne with snakes. I’ll stand next to you and roar at anybody who fails to grovel. Fear Kate Daniels. She is a mighty and terrible ruler. Grendel can anoint the petitioners with his...

Tally really didn't have the strength to explain that she'd really meant her hangover, which was sprawled in her head like an overweight cat, sullen and squishy and disinclined to budge.

It's the perfect solution. We argue all the time. We can't stand each other. It's like we're already married.

Yeah! Bring it on lake!" -Coach Gleeson Hedge

We will ensure a place for you in heaven, but we will make this place a hell." Religious exploiters"Follow us for a greater economy and other superficial dreams, and we will make sure it never happens...

{Summertime she speaks of winter, she eats ham, but speaks of beef, got a good man but, flirts with another. She might as well go to hell, cause she ain't gonna be happy in heaven either!}

I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells.

98% of all comedians feel obliged to be funny when interviewed. Less than 2% succeed.

I used to give advice, and no one wanted it. Now I give suggestions and everyone asks for more.

Properly practiced, knitting soothes the troubled spirit, and it doesn't hurt the untroubled spirit either.