Top Humor Quotes

Did someone just call me the ? he asked in a lazy drawl. It’s Bacchus, please. Or Mr. Bacchus. Or Lord Bacchus. Or, sometimes, Oh-My-Gods-Please-Don’t-Kill-Me, Lord Bacchus.

Your relationship or marriage is dead or dying, if you almost always have to remind your partner to miss you (and/or they almost always have to remind you to miss them).

Humor Definition

(n.) Moisture, especially, the moisture or fluid of animal bodies, as the chyle, lymph, etc.; as, the humors of the eye, etc.

(n.) A vitiated or morbid animal fluid, such as often causes an eruption on the skin.

(n.) State of mind, whether habitual or temporary (as formerly supposed to depend on the character or combination of the fluids of the body); disposition; temper; mood; as, good humor; ill humor.

(n.) Changing and uncertain states of mind; caprices; freaks; vagaries; whims.

(n.) That quality of the imagination which gives to ideas an incongruous or fantastic turn, and tends to excite laughter or mirth by ludicrous images or representations; a playful fancy; facetiousness.

(v. t.) To comply with the humor of; to adjust matters so as suit the peculiarities, caprices, or exigencies of; to adapt one's self to; to indulge by skillful adaptation; as, to humor the mind.

(v. t.) To help on by indulgence or compliant treatment; to soothe; to gratify; to please.

There's my baby!" I cried, quite carried away, "There's my poochiekins!"..."Sadie," My dad said firmly, "Please do not refer to the devourer of souls as 'poochiekins'.

Most human beings strongly believe that money is way less important than the life of a human being, but in reality five hundred, fifty, or even five dollars are way more important to the lives of most...

A relationship is likely to last way longer, if each partner convinces or has convinced themselves that they do not deserve their partner, even if that is not true.

Ayame: Yuki, let's deepen the bond between us brothers!Yuki: Before you can do that I'll drown you in the deepest part of that lake.

New York, of course, is to be in endless surreal situations where a fifty-thousand dollar, gun-metal Mercedez pulls up into a puddle of blood, and out steps a twenty-five karat blonde transvestite wit...

Yes, life is full of awkward moments! For example, that time you keep dazing off while staring at the same person you found yourself staring at five minutes ago. *gulp* So glad staring is still not il...

If there were something that Mother Nature or God could do with money, She or He would have sold immortality to the rich a long time ago.

The cord pulled taut and she rebounded, flying back up before falling again. As her velocity slowed, she opened her eyes and found herself dangling at the end of the cord, about five feet above Jace....

I hit him on the back of the neck. He submerged.

You cannot really shame a man who sincerely does not care what others think of him.

Ayame: "Yuki, let's deepen the bond between us brothers!"Yuki: "Before you can do that I'll drown you in the deepest part of that lake."Ayame: "As long as we spend time together."Yuki: "On second thou...

An ordinary man can enjoy breakfasting on juice and rye bread.But when you are underfed, scorned, miserable or just plain bored, you don’t want to eat dull wholesome food.You want something a little m...

Bite me, Goth princess, Shane called from the back. Not literally or anything.Maybe you should say that to Michael.Not funny, Eve, Michael said.Eve raised her eyebrows and held her fingers up, measuri...

Ichigo: You got that? Huh?! I'm the rescuer, so you just SHUT UP!!Rukia: Wha--wha'd you say? A rescuer isn't supposed to ignore the rescuee!Ichigo: Yeah? And what kind of rescuee complains about the r...

Water!' cried Marie.'Vinegar!' recommended the bell-boy.'Eu-de-Cologne!' said Bill.'Pepper!' said Lord Tidmouth.Mary had another suggestion.'Give her air!'So had the bell-boy.'Slap her hands!'Lord Tid...

They came out in a dim, damp basement - a generic sort of place, full of moulding boxes. 'You take me to the nicest places,' Claire said, and sneezed.

On an even subtler dimension, clarity, intuitive knowledge and contentment are primarily determined by chemical and hormonal balances in the body and brain. Most of this is entirely manipulable throug...

The more you talk about it, rehash it, rethink it, cross analyze it, debate it, respond to it, get paranoid about it, compete with it, complain about it, immortalize it, cry over it, kick it, defame i...