“ What do you think, Galen?" Lady Fern asked in a sugary voice.Galen chewed slowly and painfully, swallowing tentatively.It's very unique," he said, trying to look intrigued instead of disgusted. "It's… Riley Carney
“ You need anything we're only an hour away, give or take, honey. You call. We'll help you hide the body. Sean Michael
“ Some vampires wouldn't react if you shoved a rosary down their pants, though I wouldn't recommend testing the theory. Molly Harper
“ What was that?" Rich combined the pain of a crooked arm with the indignity of a flicked ear. I could only hope the situation didn't escalate to the dreaded purple nurple. Molly Harper
“ You have better luck than you think you do,” Cian said firmly.Turning back toward him, she said, “Yeah? Prove it?”You found me.”Yeah, and awakening your inner vampire, scaring the shit out of yourgirl… Rhiannon Frater
“ She was my friend because she was kind and funny but she had a face like two oysters fused together in a Star Trek matter transporter accident. Andrew Hinkinson
“ I didn't say what kind of book. You have a foul mind Bingley.""Don't mock me on my sister's wedding day!""I mocked you on yours; I hardly see how this is as bad," was Darcy's reply. Marsha Altman
“ Smartass Disciple: Why men don't ready yet to join the intergalactic confederation?Master of Stupidity: Men could make them laugh to death. It'd be too risky for them. Toba Beta
“ Shamu and I have arrived safely in Costa Rica. He was stopped by airport security because he carries enough artillery in his pants pockets to construct a sawed-off shotgun. Evidently, he thought we we… Chelsea Handler
“ Abandoned babies are unfortunate unwanted results of a once urgent desire to have an orgasm David Cross
“ But you have said it too often, Mr. Benedict!" said Mrs. Perumal in an imperious tone that was quite out of character. "And if you continue in this vein, I'm afraid we'll be compelled to cut our visit… Trenton Lee Stewart
“ I saw you put rice in a toaster once," said Mae. "I was there when made the tin of beans explode.""It was faulty," Jamie protested, his eyes shifty. " I am sure of this. Sarah Rees Brennan
“ The following is a list of statements made many years ago by experts in their fields. At the time they were said they sounded intelligent. With the passing of time, they sound idiotic. Sean Covey
“ God will break California from the surface of the continent like someone breaking off a piece of chocolate. It will become its own floating paradise of underweight movie stars and dot-commers, like a… Laura Ruby
“ Another thing I take issue with are people who take their dogs on "play dates," or even worse, people who choose to dress their dogs up in outfits better suited for homosexuals participating in a gay… Chelsea Handler
“ This is Simba," Nicole said, pointing to the lion. "Is he dangerous?" Asked Chase."Not really. He mauled a trainer, but nothing much. Roland Smith
“ I suddenly realize that I'm naked, which shouldn't bother me since it's the phone, but for some reason it does. "How's it hanging?" Kyra asks and now I think I'm blushing. It's just an expression, but… Barry Lyga
“ When it comes to being famous, you’re usually the last to know, and the first to deny it. Unless you were already famous in your head. In which case, party on, Wayne! Party on, Garth! Carroll Bryant
