“ No punching?" he asked."No.""No kicking?""No.""How about arm wrestling?""No. And before you ask, we've avoided Slug Bug, Slap Bets, and any and all Dance-Offs."Fate Succumbs Tammy Blackwell
“ When I was younger I used to think that band-aids did all the work. I mean after all, it binds your wound together and makes everything better back to the way it was. But then I became an adult and st… Onee'sha Ford
“ The funny thing about writing is that whether you're doing well or doing it poorly, it looks the exact same. That's actually one of the main ways that writing is different from ballet dancing. John Green
“ Wikipedia is just an incredible thing. It is fact-encirclingly huge, and it is idiosyncratic, careful, messy, funny, shocking and full of simmering controversies - and it is free, and it is fast. Nicholson Baker
“ Now that I'm more mature, in a funny way, I can even appreciate that I've bad to become more aware of my body. Since I've chosen acting as my career, I have to keep my weight down anyway-I've been use… Dana Hill
“ I love weird or funny or beautiful sentences Joy Williams could write a microwave-oven manual and I'm sure I'd love it, because the sentences would be tuned up like music. Karen Russell
“ Sometimes, comics will make the observation that it's not jokes that are funny, it's characters that are funny. And isn't that true! That's why I always kill jokes. I'm terrible at them, because I get… David Mitchell
“ I'm not funny. People assume that because my books are funny, I'll be funny in real life. It's the inevitable disappointment of meeting me. Jonathan Safran Foer
“ The kind of funny irony is that a lot of people talk about ethical meat eating as if it's a way to care about things, but also not to alienate yourself from the rest of the world. But it's so much mor… Jonathan Safran Foer
“ I don't really get shaken very much. People could heckle me, a spotlight could go out, I could forget a lyric... I'm not operating on somebody's brain, you know what I mean? So I just think it's all f… Harry Connick, Jr.
“ I think we're all good and bad, but good's not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out, and then you can be funny. Larry David
“ Who wears masks?’‘Bank robbers?’‘No.’‘Really ugly people?’‘No.’‘Halloween? People wear masks at Halloween.’‘Yes! They do!’ He flung his arms wide in delight.‘So that’s important?’‘Not even a little bi… Neil Gaiman
“ The intercom buzzes while you're changing your shirt. You push the Talk button: Who is it? Narcotics squad. We're soliciting donations for children all over the world who have no drugs. Jay McInerney
“ I know what you're thinking, said Root. Why am I picking on you every day? Why don't I ever bawl out those other layabouts?Holly said nothing, but agreement was written all over the face.I'll tell you… Eoin Colfer
“ He gave a good yell, for Baba Yaga at her best caused strong windows to crack and fall out of their frames.From Baba Yaga and the Sorcerer's son Patricia A. McKillip
“ Fenchurch had red mullet and said it was delicious.Arthur had a swordfish steak and said it made him angry. He grabbed a passing waitress by the arm and berated her.Why’s this fish so bloody good? he… Douglas Adams
“ Dwarfs were not a naturally religious species, but in a world where pit props could crack without warning and pockets of fire damp could suddenly explode they'd seen the need for gods as the sort of s… Terry Pratchett
“ A snap of Rhys’s fingers, and my nightclothes—and some flimsy underthings—appeared on the bed. I couldn’t decide which scrap of lace I wanted you to wear, so I brought you a few to choose from. Pig, I… Sarah J. Maas
“ I like to think my sense of humor is sort of smart and dumb at the same time. I like to work on multiple levels - smart and dumb, funny and sad, profound and mundane, cynical and hopeful. Robert Lopez
