Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on theroad an hour.
When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving.
(superl.) Droll; comical; amusing; laughable.
(n.) A clinkerbuit, narrow boat for sculling.
That really was NOT fun, though. Well, the hitting-her-with-a-stick part, that was fun. But crashing into a concrete bear? NOT fun.
When you're writing what you love, it's the most fun you can have with your clothing still on, unless of course, you write naked.
Women were created gullible. It they weren't no babies would be born.
Sometimes we have to actually say, I think you're really funny, but none of your jokes are going to make it on the air. So just answer my questions. Seriously.
I think one of the basic tasks in life - one of the nice things we can do for each other - is to take things that are horrible and scary and make them acceptable and less frightening and, if possible,...
I believe, in a funny way, the job of the novelist is to be out there on the fringes and speaking for an experience that has not really been spoken for.
I really love 'Soapdish.' I wish 'Soapdish' had more of a moment because I felt that that is a really strong, funny movie. Kevin Kline is hilarious in that movie.
I tell girls all the time that the men that have fallen in love with me, have all fallen during a man repeller stage... funny how life works out like that.
No, writing musicals is the hardest thing in the world. And it was really funny, because I remember when the South Park movie came out, there were some critics that said, 'Well it's obvious that in or...
I tend to head for what's amusing because a lot of things aren't happy. But usually you can find a funny side to practically anything.
The funny thing is that I'm the girl who no one sees at the beach. Ask anyone who's traveled with me. Normally, I'm in so many layers, I look like Lawrence of Arabia!
A good artist is willing to die many times over. What's funny is, I've died so many times.
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.
I used to say, 'Man, I think I'd be a really good dad. I'll be a great provider. I'm funny I'll go on trips with them - I'll do all sorts of stuff.' But the momming? I'm not made for that. I have a re...
Who wears masks?’‘Bank robbers?’‘No.’‘Really ugly people?’‘No.’‘Halloween? People wear masks at Halloween.’‘Yes! They do!’ He flung his arms wide in delight.‘So that’s important?’‘Not even a little bi...
What about a compromise? I’ll kill them first, and if it turns out they were friendly, I’ll apologize.
This was another skill women were meant to learn: when a man's story had come to an end. Mostly, it wasn't a problem, as the end was thumpingly obvious; or else the narrator started snorting with laug...
It was around then that the phone rang. It was my friend Cee Cee, wanting to know if I cared to join her and Adam McTavish at the Coffee Clutch to drink iced tea and talk bad about everyone we know.