“ The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson, who's really funny for a cartoonist, obviously. Demetri Martin
“ It is not funny that anything else should fall down only that a man should fall down. Why do we laugh? Because it is a gravely religious matter: it is the Fall of Man. Only man can be absurd: for only… Gilbert K. Chesterton
“ I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do. Will Rogers
“ Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem. Bill Vaughan
“ My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is. Ellen DeGeneres
“ Here's the funny thing about the response I've been aware of to my dating famous people: It's been very negative. I'm either not good-looking enough, not a good enough actor or not successful enough f… Dax Shepard
“ The anger that Uncle Junior has comes from my background. My father was the son of an Italian immigrant, and I've seen the fire of the Italian temperament. It can be explosive sometimes in ways that a… Dominic Chianese
“ Tropical trees had been planted throughout the room, along with bright flowering plants that were busy committing the olfactory floral equivalent of aggravated assault. Jim Butcher
“ The dark prince sat astride his black steed, his sable cape flowing behind him. A golden circlet bound his blond locks, his handsome face was cold with the rage of battle, and...And his arm looked lik… Cassandra Clare
“ That sounds terrific, thought Cary, just you, your comatose wife your shell-shocked son, and your daughter who hates your guts. Not to mention that your two kids may be in love with each other. Yeah,… Cassandra Clare
“ Simon! Clary shouted, and seized his arm. What? Simon looked alarmed.I'm not really sleeping with your mom, you know. I was just trying to get your attention. Not that your mom isn't a very attractive… Cassandra Clare
“ She handed him a glass of water and two Aleve gelcaps. They’re anti-inflammatories. They will dull the pain a little bit and keep down swelling and redness. Swallow the pills, don’t chew.Well, I thoug… Ilona Andrews
“ I never meant it, he was saying. Never meant it to happen. Can't stand it,seeing her suffer. Must do something, do something... What do I do? What can I do...? Rachel Caine
“ Fifteen men on the Dead Man's Chest Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum! Drink and the devil had done for the rest Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum! Robert Louis Stevenson
“ A very ladylike bosom, she said, approvingly.There’s nothing there, I complained.The clerk grinned. I have been fitting bras for twenty-five years and noone ever thinks her breasts are good enough, sh… Marta Acosta
“ I thought it would be a funny concept to publish a book about stand-up comedy with Faber, the poetry publisher, and to apply to stand-up the same sort of weight of annotation that you would to a class… Stewart Lee
