“ We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings. Erma Bombeck
“ My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you? Erma Bombeck
“ Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone? Erma Bombeck
“ Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments. Erma Bombeck
“ No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick. Erma Bombeck
“ Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago. Erma Bombeck
“ Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated. Erma Bombeck
“ When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'. Erma Bombeck
“ All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them. Erma Bombeck
“ There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. Erma Bombeck
“ Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub. Erma Bombeck
“ Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart. Erma Bombeck
“ A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. Erma Bombeck
“ Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it. Erma Bombeck
