Men like to borrow kisses because they know they will have to pay them back.
Falling in love with someone is intentional, even if it was their looks that tripped you.
A man who boasts he's the head of the home must never forget the woman is the knife at his throat.
There is nothing wrong with being a puppet if love is the one pulling the strings.
Nice guys finish last but bad guys don't finish at all.
When I was young, I believed God was a woman because I couldn't come up with any other explanation as to why the universe was so tidy.
By studying human history, we can realize how much of human stupidity has fallen on fertile ground. Is gravity guilty for such an occurrence too?
My mother-in-law belongs in Hell, but the devil is afraid she’ll end up taking over.
Ask your wife for forgiveness, even when you’re right.
A mother’s eyes are like God; impossible to get away from, they see everything.
The fastest way to end an argument with your wife is to admit she’s right.
Be calm on your wedding day; she won’t kill you in front of a hundred people, no matter what you've done.
Money can't buy love, except on Valentine’s Day.
The easiest way to remember your future wife’s birthday is to marry her on Super Bowl Sunday.
An inch to a man’s heart is a mile to his wallet.
The world’s most lethal venom is not found on the tongues of serpents, but on the tongues of a disgruntled wife.
In my book an erection constitutes personal growth.
