“ People who are not blessed with the ability to make others laugh compensate for that by saying (or trying to say) things that are profound. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
“ Fuck it... That's really the attitude that keeps a family together, it's not "we love each other", it's just "fuck it, man. Louis C.K.
“ A lot of people say there's a fine line between genius and insanity. I don't think there's a fine line, I actually think there's a yawning gulf. You see some poor bugger scuffling up the road with bal… Bill Bailey
“ Sort of' is such a harmless thing to say... sort of. It's just a filler. Sort of... it doesn't really mean anything. But after certain things, sort of means everything. Like... after "I love you"... o… Demetri Martin
“ As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread. Michael Bassey Johnson
“ I was making pancakes the other day and a fly flew into the kitchen. And that's when I realized that a spatula is a lot like a fly swatter. And a crushed fly is a lot like a blueberry. And a roommate… Demetri Martin
“ Believe it or not the war on Iraq is based on a sound scientific principle, The bee hive principle. Which clearly states that if you are stung by a bee, you should follow it back to its nest and then… John Oliver
“ The difficulty with humorists is that they will mix what they believe with what they don’t—whichever seems likelier to win an effect. John Updike
“ Comedy to me has always seemed a social tightrope for the comedian. For all axioms intellectually sound the general public would prefer to be amused, but in those emotionally sound, it then chooses to… Criss Jami
“ If you pray for rain long enough, it eventually does fall. If you pray for floodwaters to abate, they eventually do. The same happens in the absence of prayers. Steve Allen
“ To be a philosopher, just reverse everything you have ever been told...and have a sense of humor doing it. Criss Jami
“ No small part of the club's audience consisted of would-be comics, as well as the leading comics of the day. In fact, there were so many gagsters around that it was difficult to know who was part of t… Kliph Nesteroff
“ The ones who constantly make us laugh are the hardest of friends to know - for comedians are the caricatures among us. Criss Jami
