Thank you for sending me a copy of your book. I'll waste no time reading it.
She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.
A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.
I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
An old battleax of a woman said to Winston Churchill, "If you were my husband I would put poison in your tea." Churchill's response, "Ma'am if you were my wife I would drink it.