If you invited a hedge wizard to a party, he would spend half the evening talking to your potted plant. And he would spend the other half listening.
But we're a university! We to have a library! said Ridcully. It adds . What sort of people would we be if we didn't go into the library?Students, said Senior Wrangler morosely.
And so the children of the revolution were faced with the age-old problem: it wasn't that you had the wrong kind of government, which was obvious, but that you had the wrong kind of people. As soon as...
Tiffany has been apprenticing as a witch by visiting people in need with her mentor. After meeting with one particularly sad case, she tells her mentor, It shouldn't be like this. Her mentor replies,...
There have been better attempts at marching, and they have been made by penguins.
I mean, it's a good job we've got a last desperate million-to-one chance to rely on, or we'd really be in trouble!
Firstly, said Ponder, Mr Pessimal wants to know what we do here.Do? We are the premier college of magic! said Ridcully.But do we teach?Only if no alternative presents itself, said the Dean. We show ‘e...
Do you understand what I'm saying?shouted Moist. You can't just go around killing people!Why Not? You Do. The golem lowered his arm.What? snapped Moist. I do not! Who told you that?I Worked It Out. Yo...
But, in truth, it had not exactly been gold, or even the promise of gold, but more like the fantasy of gold, the fairy dream that the gold is there, at the end of the rainbow, and will continue to be...
A woman always has half an onion left over, no matter what the size of the onion, the dish or the woman
The dogged determination and patience of one person to do what is Right and Necessary may not always win the day or even be noticed, but it will tip the balance just a little in the direction of good.
BUT MOST PEOPLE ARE RATHER STUPID AND WASTE THEIR LIVES. HAVE YOU NOT SEEN THAT? HAVE YOU NOT LOOKED DOWN FROM THE HORSE AT A CITY AND THOUGHT HOW MUCH IT RESEMBLED AN ANT HEAP, FULL OF BLIND CREATURE...
Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.
The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head.
The Ankh-Morpork Trespassers' Society was originally the Explorers' Society until Lord Vetinari forcibly insisted that most of the places 'discovered' by the society's members already had people in th...
You don't have to chase around after creatures, Pismire had said. You watch them for long enough, and then you'll find the place to wait and they'll come to you. There's nearly always a better way of...
Mission motto, sir, said Carrot cheerfully. Morituri Nolumus Mori. Rincewind suggested it.I imagine he did, said Lord Vetinari, observing the wizard coldly. And would you care to give us a colloquial...
Drinks like this tend to get called Traffic Lights or Rainbow's Revenge or, in places where truth is more highly valued, Hello and Good-Bye, Mr. Brain Cell.
We're living in science fiction, but we don't realize it.
What is a fantasy map but a space beyond which There Be Dragons?