I'm thankful for Sarah Palin's vice presidential bid, which taught us that Alaska is not in a box off the coast of California.
I'm thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings.
My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'
I'm thankful that my memory is good because my vision is going.
Once I was gone for a month and I was just miserable, so I flew back from Florida for two hours just to be home and see my cats.
I used to watch 'The Waltons' and sob because my family was nothing like that. We had a cruel sense of humor in my family.
The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.
The problem with cats is that they get the same exact look whether they see a moth or an ax-murderer.
I have a very silly sense of humor. I've never laughed harder in my entire life than seeing someone with toilet paper stuck on the bottom of their shoe.
There are those wonderful moments of clarity in life when one is reminded how irreparably flawed we humans are. Once, when I was nineteen, on the subway in Boston I lost my balance slightly and bumped...
I don't need a holiday or a feast to feel grateful for my children, the sun, the moon, the roof over my head, music, and laughter, but I like to take this time to take the path of thanks less traveled...
Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up 'cause they're looking for ideas.