Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.
Before publishers' blurbs were invented, authors had to make their reputations by writing.
The best intelligence test is what we do with our leisure.
Going to church doesn't make you any more a Christian than going to the garage makes you a car.
Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.
If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.
The cave-dweller's wife complained that he hadn't dragged her anywhere in months.
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
Conscience: That which makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does.
A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.
An intelligence test sometimes shows a man how smart he would have been not to have taken it.
Egypt: Where the Israelites would still be if Moses had been a bureaucrat.
Facts are stubborn things but statistics are more pliable.
Men now monopolize the upper levels... depriving women of their rightful share of opportunities for incompetence.
Middle age is when anything new in the way you feel is most likely a symptom.
Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell, and advertise.
If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?
My problem is I say what I'm thinking before I think what I'm saying.
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