Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.
Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.
Going to church doesn't make you any more a Christian than going to the garage makes you a car.
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
The great question is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with failure.
A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.
Slump, and the world slumps with you. Push, and you push alone.
Egypt: Where the Israelites would still be if Moses had been a bureaucrat.
Middle age is when anything new in the way you feel is most likely a symptom.
My problem is I say what I'm thinking before I think what I'm saying.
If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?
Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.
Facts are stubborn things but statistics are more pliable.
Men now monopolize the upper levels... depriving women of their rightful share of opportunities for incompetence.
A censor is an expert in cutting remarks. A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.
You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.
The cave-dweller's wife complained that he hadn't dragged her anywhere in months.
An intelligence test sometimes shows a man how smart he would have been not to have taken it.
Conscience: That which makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does.
Before publishers' blurbs were invented, authors had to make their reputations by writing.
