Going to church doesn't make you any more a Christian than going to the garage makes you a car.
Egypt: Where the Israelites would still be if Moses had been a bureaucrat.
My problem is I say what I'm thinking before I think what I'm saying.
A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.
The great question is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with failure.
Middle age is when anything new in the way you feel is most likely a symptom.
Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell, and advertise.
When I want your opinion I'll give it to you.
Slump, and the world slumps with you. Push, and you push alone.
If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?
Facts are stubborn things but statistics are more pliable.
A censor is an expert in cutting remarks. A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.
Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.
The cave-dweller's wife complained that he hadn't dragged her anywhere in months.
Conscience: That which makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does.
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
Before publishers' blurbs were invented, authors had to make their reputations by writing.
Men now monopolize the upper levels... depriving women of their rightful share of opportunities for incompetence.
An intelligence test sometimes shows a man how smart he would have been not to have taken it.
You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.