Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell, and advertise.
The great question is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with failure.
Going to church doesn't make you any more a Christian than going to the garage makes you a car.
My problem is I say what I'm thinking before I think what I'm saying.
A censor is an expert in cutting remarks. A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.
If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?
Egypt: Where the Israelites would still be if Moses had been a bureaucrat.
When I want your opinion I'll give it to you.
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.
You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.
A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.
Slump, and the world slumps with you. Push, and you push alone.
In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.
Middle age is when anything new in the way you feel is most likely a symptom.
Conscience: That which makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does.
Facts are stubborn things but statistics are more pliable.
Before publishers' blurbs were invented, authors had to make their reputations by writing.
Men now monopolize the upper levels... depriving women of their rightful share of opportunities for incompetence.
The cave-dweller's wife complained that he hadn't dragged her anywhere in months.
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