Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object.
It's better to have loved and lost than to have to do forty pounds of laundry a week.
Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.
An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.
Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.
Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively.
Lead, follow, or get out of the way.
Old age is when you know all the answers but nobody asks you the questions.
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.
Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.
If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?
The best intelligence test is what we do with our leisure.
Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.
Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.
He laughs best whose laugh lasts.
The problem with temptation is that you may not get another chance.
Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.
The great question is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with failure.
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