AtomicQuote

Joan Bauer Quotes

You don't mince words.""Just garlic.

Joan Bauer

You don't mince words.""Just garlic.

Tags: bluntness, food, honesty, seasoning

On cheap tippers:"Don't take it personally; they were deprived somehow as children.On low-fat entrees: "They sell well enough, but nobody's too happy after the meal.

Joan Bauer

On cheap tippers:"Don't take it personally; they were deprived somehow as children.On low-fat entrees: "They sell well enough, but nobody's too happy after the meal.

Tags: food, food service

About Author
Joan Bauer may refer to:

Joan Bauer (novelist) (born 1951), American novelist
Joan Bauer (politician) (born 1950), Michigan state representative

Why do you think, A.J.," they say in unison, "that you find these boys so attractive?" I didn't say that this fiery chemical explosion leaps from somewhere inside me. Parents don't want to hear these...

Joan Bauer

Why do you think, A.J.," they say in unison, "that you find these boys so attractive?" I didn't say that this fiery chemical explosion leaps from somewhere inside me. Parents don't want to hear these...

Tags: communication, family relationships, hormones, humor, parental advice, parents, teenagers

I flopped on the overstuffed kitchen couch and watched him go. I wondered what would happen to all his films and photographs in the upstairs closet - the documentaries on homelessness and drug addicti...

Joan Bauer

I flopped on the overstuffed kitchen couch and watched him go. I wondered what would happen to all his films and photographs in the upstairs closet - the documentaries on homelessness and drug addicti...

Tags: abandonment, choices, family, priorities, work

What kind of kids live in Mulhoney, Wisconsin? Would they like me? Would I like them? Have they ever eaten sushi? That's usually how I determine food sophistication. Maybe a personal ad would get the...

Joan Bauer

What kind of kids live in Mulhoney, Wisconsin? Would they like me? Would I like them? Have they ever eaten sushi? That's usually how I determine food sophistication. Maybe a personal ad would get the...

Tags: food, friends

People are so cheap. Everyone wants quality, no one wants to pay for it. Here's the suburban dream-- to hire great workers who are such meek morons that they don't have the guts to ask for a living wa...

Joan Bauer

People are so cheap. Everyone wants quality, no one wants to pay for it. Here's the suburban dream-- to hire great workers who are such meek morons that they don't have the guts to ask for a living wa...

Tags: humor, truth

It was bad enough not having a boyfriend for New Year's Eve. Now I had to cope with Valentine datelessness, feeling consummate social pressure from every retailer in America who stuck hearts and cupid...

Joan Bauer

It was bad enough not having a boyfriend for New Year's Eve. Now I had to cope with Valentine datelessness, feeling consummate social pressure from every retailer in America who stuck hearts and cupid...

Tags: boyfriend, commercialized, loneliness, self pity, valentine s day

How are things with you, sir?""Fine." He says it flat."Coffee black. BLT."Now my heart tells me this guy needs more in life, so I take a short. "You ever had a cheese burger with grilled onions and mu...

Joan Bauer

How are things with you, sir?""Fine." He says it flat."Coffee black. BLT."Now my heart tells me this guy needs more in life, so I take a short. "You ever had a cheese burger with grilled onions and mu...

Tags: adventure, leadership

I nearly tripped over Stieglitz, my dog, a forty-pound black-and-white keeshond (pronounced caze-hawnd) furball. He lunged at me with unbridled glee because the mere sight of my presence always made h...

Joan Bauer

I nearly tripped over Stieglitz, my dog, a forty-pound black-and-white keeshond (pronounced caze-hawnd) furball. He lunged at me with unbridled glee because the mere sight of my presence always made h...

Tags: dogs, love, pets

Life and death played out before my very eyes. You don't see these things if you clean your room regularly.

Joan Bauer

Life and death played out before my very eyes. You don't see these things if you clean your room regularly.

Tags: death, funny, life

When the going gets tough, the tough get a librarian.

Joan Bauer

When the going gets tough, the tough get a librarian.

Tags: librarians, libraries, paraphrased

You got to laugh Tree, if you don't you'll cry.

Joan Bauer

You got to laugh Tree, if you don't you'll cry.

Tags: laugh