Pbbtlt.It smells like ham, Glo said. It must be HatchetHatchet moved out of the shadows. My intent was to capture and torture for information, but you have made my job easy. I now know the clue and ca...
Oscar Wilde said it's never the question that's indiscreet, only the answers.
Opening my door to Dillon Ruddick, my bulding super. I handed him a cup of coffee. Sorry about the blood. What was it this time? No one reported gunfire.I hit a guy in the face with a hair dryer.Whoa....
One Ranger is all you'll ever need. - Ranger
Okay, Ranger said. We're going to walk through the room and look for this guy. Pretend I'm not here.You going to be the wind again? I asked.Ranger grinned. Wiseass.
Okay, let’s try
Oh my God. You're going to Julie Morelli's wedding! It's true about you and Joe.What about me and Joe?I heard you were living with him.I had a fire in my apartment, and I rented a room from him for a...
Oh my God! Babe! Ranger shouted from the bathroom. Come get your grandmother. Ranger was standing in the glass-enclosed shower with the door open, looking out at Grandma. He was dripping wet and seeme...
OKAY, SO HERE’S the thing. My mother’s worst fear has come true. I’m a nymphomaniac. I lust after a lot of men. Of course, maybe that’s because I don’t actually actually have sex with any. And some of...
My mother was about three feet from Pooka. She threw herself forward, grabbed hold of his shirt, and they both went down to the ground. They rolled around a little and by the time I reached them, my m...
My mother came into the kitchen. Whose car is that parked in front of our house?That's Stephanie's new car, Grandma said. Isn't it a pip?One of my mother's eyebrows raised in question. Two new cars? W...
My grandmother is a little Cuban woman who cooks all day and speaks Spanish. Your grandmother watches pay-per-view porn. She used to watch the Weather Channel, but she said there wasn’t enough action.
My first thought was always of cake. His first thought was always of sex. Don’t get me wrong. I like sex . . . a lot. But it’s never going to replace cake.
My father hired you to protect me, Ahmed said, not to go off chasing men. Grandma leaned forward, keeping her eye on the Taurus. We think this guy killed Fred. Who's Fred? My uncle, I told him. He's m...
My body is not designed to run. My body was designed to sit in an expensive care and drive.
Mrs. Zuppa was coming in from bingo just as I was leaving the building. Looks like you're going to work, she said, leaning heavily on her cane. What are you packin'? A thirty-eight.I like a nine-milli...
Mr. Landowsky was eighty-two and somehow his chest had shrunk over the years, and now he was forced to hike his pants up under his armpits. Oi, he said. This heat! I can't breathe. Somebody should do...
Morelli ran after him, there was a lot of yelling and growling, and Morelli came down empty-handed. He ate it, Morelli said. I was horrified to the point of gagging. Ranger stared down at his shoe, ma...
Lula got into line, and I relaxed in Ranger's Mercedes. Vlatko was out of the picture. Ranger was safe. I was wearing my own underwear. Life was good.
Lately, I’ve been spending a lot of time rolling on the ground with men who think a stiffy represents personal growth.