You can't make a woman love you. Not even with duct tape.
You have to think if we've been visited by extraterrestrial life, it was like a zookeeper walking into the chimp enclosure: He looks around, takes some pictures, then leaves without interacting signif...
I love animals, especially with barbeque sauce.
I love Las Vegas because it's the one city less classy than Los Angeles.
If there's one thing I know about women, it's that they have vaginas.
No man wants his daughter to be the kind of girl whom he liked in high school.
I try not to let other people's problems problem me.
Life.... It's better than the alternative.
The truth is like sunlight: It causes cancer.
Los Angeles is a city made up of refugees from better cities.
That's crazier than a boatload of prostitutes!