The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.
Life is tough, then you die.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
It's all bullshit, folks and it's bad for ya.
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.
When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.
I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you,...
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
I don't know how you feel, but I'm pretty sick of church people. You know what they ought to do with churches? Tax them. If holy people are so interested in politics, government, and public policy, le...
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things...
Boy, these conservatives are really something, aren't they? They're all in favor of the unborn. They will do anything for the unborn. But once you're born, you're on your own. Pro-life conservatives a...
Y'ever notice how you never seem to get laid on Thanksgiving? I think it's because all the coats are on the bed.
I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work.
Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty.I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.