Movies have takes. But plays are like life - you don't really get takes.
A sense of humor is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.
Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.
I've seen women who don't have great relationships with their dads, and it all comes down to this: You have to tell girls you love them every day.
President of the United States is you know, our boss, so you know, the President and the First Lady are kinda like the Mom and the Dad of the country. And when your Dad says something you listen.
There's some downsides to being famous, which are not even worth mentioning. But to combat the bad sides of being famous, you really should take advantage of the good sides. The good sides are, you ca...
The thing that surprised me the most is just how much money women that weren't rich were paying for their hair. When you're in a beauty parlor in Harlem next to abandoned buildings and somebody's payi...
Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy.
Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.
I have no idea what my best material is. Different people like different things. I'll say this: The political stuff gets the press, but the relationship jokes sell all the seats.
Funny is only something that others know about you - you can't be funny by yourself.
Hollywood's just not funny.
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense
Music is the soundtrack to the crappy movie that is my life.
I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.
You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it's your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You're probably not gonna get...