You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
The audience was swell. They were so polite they covered their mouths when they yawned.
If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.
If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap.
We had a very successful trip to Russia we got back.
I don't generally feel anything until noon then it's time for my nap.
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
It you watch a game it's fun. If you play it it's recreation. If you work at it it's golf.
If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.
When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things - not the great occasions - that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness.
I was lucky I wasn't a better boxer or that's what I'd be now - a punchy ex-pug.
A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things - not the great occasions - give off the greatest glow of happiness.
When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.
People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money.
I have too much money invested in sweaters.
My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?