I don't ridicule religion, it ridicules itself.
If a fourteen year-old can deliver your message, it's not because he's gifted. It's because intellectually, you're a child.
New Rule: Instead of using their $10 billion atom-smashing Large Hadron Collider to re-create the Big Bang by melting atom parts in temperatures a million times hotter than the sun, scientists should...
[F]reedom isn't free. It shouldn't be a bragging point that Oh, I don't get involved in politics, as if that makes you somehow cleaner. No, that makes you derelict of duty in a republic. Liars and pan...
New Rule: The Napa Valley is Disneyland for alcoholics. Be honest, you're not visiting wineries in four days because you're an oenophile, you're doing it because you're a drunk. It's the only place in...
New Rule: You don't need a paper shredder. I've seen your mail--it's not that interesting. What are you worried about, that the magazine from the auto club might fall into the wrong hands? I hate to b...
Saying someone is religious is heard in most of America as a compliment, a reassuring affirmation that someone will be moral, ethical, and after a few glasses of wine, a freak in the bedroom.
Sticking one's head in the sand is a deep human impulse. Like when you feel some kind of bump or growth on the back of your neck, and your heart jumps, because, Christ, that could be something bad, I...
We're a complacent society, hard to get riled up in the first place, and then when we do, it's misdirected.
I hate stupidity, but what I hate even more is when people actually brag about it.
Men are only as loyal as their options.
The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said,...
If you belonged to a political party or a social club that was tied to as much bigotry, misogyny, homophobia, violence, and sheer ignorance as religion is, you'd resign in protest.
Forget bringing the troops home from Iraq. We need to get the troops home from World War II. Can anybody tell me why, in 2009, we still have more than sixty thousand troops in Germany and thirty thous...
Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the 'will of the people' goes out the window.
Religion is dangerous because it allows human beings who don't have all the answers to think that they do.
America is bad at discriminating between danger likely to strike again, and red herrings, the freaking helpings of disaster that no man or plan can prevent.
New Rule: Apple's next device must be a computer that you control with your tongue. Thanks for eliminating the keyboard and the mouse, but pointing and pushing at things already seems too complicated...
New Rule: Oil companies must stop with the advertisements implying they're friends of the environment. At Exxon Mobil, we care about a thriving wildlife. Please--the only thing an oil executive has in...
New Rule: The Jacksons must trot out at least one family member who doesn't make us all ask, What went on in that house?
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