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Most experts suggest that one should open with a joke. Obviously they've never heard me tell a joke.

Anonymous

Most experts suggest that one should open with a joke. Obviously they've never heard me tell a joke.

Tags: openers, introductions

Related Quotes

I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.

George Bernard Shaw

I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.

Tags: openers, introductions, myself, conversation, spice

Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands? All the rest of you if you'll just rattle your jewelry.

John Lennon

Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands? All the rest of you if you'll just rattle your jewelry.

Tags: openers, introductions

Goldie Hawn is funny sexy beautiful talented intelligent warm and consistently sunny. Other than that she doesn't impress me at all.

Neil Simon

Goldie Hawn is funny sexy beautiful talented intelligent warm and consistently sunny. Other than that she doesn't impress me at all.

Tags: openers, introductions

At the end of a long introduction: You omitted perhaps one thing - that in 1974 I had a hemorrhoidectomy.

Howell Heflin

At the end of a long introduction: You omitted perhaps one thing - that in 1974 I had a hemorrhoidectomy.

Tags: openers, introductions

The number-one fear in life is public speaking and the number-two fear is death. This means that if you go to a funeral you're better off in the casket than giving the eulogy.

Jerry Seinfeld

The number-one fear in life is public speaking and the number-two fear is death. This means that if you go to a funeral you're better off in the casket than giving the eulogy.

Tags: openers, introductions

It has been discovered experimentally that you can draw laughter from an audience anywhere in the world of any class or race simply by walking on a stage and uttering the words "I am a married man."

Ted Kavanaugh

It has been discovered experimentally that you can draw laughter from an audience anywhere in the world of any class or race simply by walking on a stage and uttering the words "I am a married man."

Tags: openers, introductions

Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm pleased to be with you. (Pause) That concludes my prepared remarks.

Anonymous

Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm pleased to be with you. (Pause) That concludes my prepared remarks.

Tags: openers, introductions

This gathering is what I call "intimate " which really means "Where is everybody?"

Tim Conway

This gathering is what I call "intimate " which really means "Where is everybody?"

Tags: openers, introductions

The first Rotarian was the first man to call John the Baptist Jack.

H. L. Mencken

The first Rotarian was the first man to call John the Baptist Jack.

Tags: openers, introductions

I was chosen to speak due to my warm personality. . . . Look up warm and it means "not so hot."

Anonymous

I was chosen to speak due to my warm personality. . . . Look up warm and it means "not so hot."

Tags: openers, introductions
About Anonymous

Anonymous may refer to:

Anonymity, the state of an individual's identity, or personally identifiable information, being publicly unknown
Anonymous work, a work of art or literature that has an unnamed or unknown creator or author
Anonymity (social choice), a property of a voting rule, saying that it does not discriminate apriori between voters