What part of Canada are you from, honey?THE LEFT PART, said Jay.
Then it suddenly and theatrically began to clean itself in the way cats do when they want you to know what a big deal you aren't.
MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW
Aw, hewwo, widdle Chihuahua, she said. Hewwo.
A row of tables manned by seated, serious women. Each woman looked like she could be someone's least-favourite aunt.
I'm half white, I said, folding my arms.Hrrm. Which half?I blinked. Uh...dunno. Let's just say it's from the waist down. Chief Shouting Bear nodded. Deal. I only hate your legs.
You know what doesn’t work when people are tasering you? It’s shouting ‘Stop tasering me.’ If they’re tasering you already, they won’t stop because you ask them to.
Ohh! said J.Lo. Oooooh! My tummy!I set him down. Are you okay? I thought they missed us.It...must not work on humans. Feel like i could marf....Like I could marf right out my poomp, J.Lo insisted.
Mark Twain said the difference between the right word and the almost right word is like the difference between lightning and the lightning bug, and people think he was good, right? Didn’t write any de...
Woah,' I said, blocking the doorway. 'You can't come in here. This is the girls' room.' Even as it came out of my mouth, I knew it sounded dumb. Dumb, I thought and maybe even .You...are a boy, aren't...
But this is what I also thought as I watched the waves of trash crash over the cracked and broken road: that for the rest of us, Arizona would always be one of our places now. It would be on the list...
She had her shoes on now, and a diaper bag slung over one shoulder. In the opposite arm she cradled Andromeda, who was wearing both her Legolas Onesie and her Keebler booties. Which seemed wrong, you...
You can do terrible things when you don't know who you are...
Why would a vampire create a younger vampire if there was a possibility the young one might end up destroying the old one?'Stephin stared. 'If you can explain to me how this is different from parentin...
We could have made it to the Arizona border in a few more hours if we hadn't been distracting each other with stupid little arguments. Don't get me wrong; I liked J.Lo fine. I've made that bed. But I'...
Told you, said Mick. Things comin' together. We set off lookin' for the Utz kids an' find a tree full o' everybody. That's magic, too.It's like a story.Same thing. The universe don't like plot. Story...
You know what’s weird, though? It’s weird that the ark would be such a kids’ story, you know? I mean, it’s…really a story about death. Every person who isn’t in Noah’s family? They die. Every animal,...
This is exciting, said J.Lo. We are sneaky agent men, like Bond James Bond.I don't know where you pick this stuff up.
I'm sorry, but !' I yelped and skipped backward as Gorg advanced on me. 'You were given bad information. Probably some human's fault.' I AM PRINCIPAL ANGER COORDINATOR ASSOCIATE-OF-THE-MONTH GORG FOUR...
I grabbed a bottle of glass cleaner because it comforted me to hold something in my hand that had a trigger, such as it was. I