Adam Rex Quotes

He spun out enough toilet paper to vandalize a house and carefully cleaned the seat.

The Freemen have 987 levels of membership, the first three of which are achieved merely by filling out an application. The 8th level is granted upon full acceptance into the local lodge, the 13th foll...

About Author

Adam Michael Rex (born May 16, 1973) is an American illustrator and author of children's books from Tucson, Arizona.

I jerked my head at the billboard and asked J.Lo, What is that thing even trying to sell me, anyway? Eh, said J.Lo as he tried to think of how to explain it. Is a kind of strap for people whose eyes a...

So why the pelican? Said Haskoll.The thief was giving Haskoll a look that said,

I didn’t feel up to arguing about it, but I was pretty sure if you loved everything you didn’t really love anything.

So I sang the first Italian song that came into my head, which turned out to be Volare. I’m sure I need not mention at this point that I am a rock star, and it sounded fantastic. J.Lo

I've been punched by a vampire, an Indian girl, and a panda... I should be a video game.

It smelled the way a garage would smell if you left a bear inside it for too long.

Polly Esther Doe was born at 8:03 a.m. on August 14.

Once I was in a bicycle accident, and I lay in the street for a long time afterward. People surrounded me and wouldn’t let me stand up until the paramedics arrived. When they did, they asked if I knew...

Ohh,' said the girl with a sad tilt of her head.It was a response Sejal would hear a lot in the following weeks and which she would eventully come to understand meant, 'Ohh, , that must be so hard for...

My partner and I are going to be run over by a rabbit driving a Citroën just isn’t the sort of thing that occurs to most people, no matter what kind of life they’ve led.

My birth certificate says Gratuity Tucci, but Mom’s called me Turtlebear ever since she learned that gratuity didn’t mean what she thought it did. My friends call me Tip. I

I'm part fairy,' said John. There was a quiet pause, and he eyed the man. 'Is that a problem?' 'No, sir. The United States military is very accepting of that sort of thing nowadays.

J.Lo looked miserable. You wouldn’t think you could tell that when a person’s wearing a ghost suit, but you can.

For you time-capsule types, MoPo was something called a convenience store, as in, 'The soda is conveniently located right next to the doughnuts and lottery tickets.' People who want to understand bett...

For the gentle werelibrarian,who's strictly vegetarian,there's nothing like Tofillagerthe MEATLESS TOFU VILLAGER

YOU have no room to laugh, that's all. I'm not doing any worse with Boovish than you did with English.'Get off of the car,' J.Lo huffed. 'I am an English superstar.'Uh-uh. There's no comparison. 'Grat...

You know what’s weird, though? It’s weird that the ark would be such a kids’ story, you know? I mean, it’s…really a story about death. Every person who isn’t in Noah’s family? They die. Every animal,...

Why would a vampire create a younger vampire if there was a possibility the young one might end up destroying the old one?'Stephin stared. 'If you can explain to me how this is different from parentin...