The big bad monster wasn't green and hiding under the bed, it wore tasteless floral prints, bright scarlet lipstick and sat in the kitchen smoking and saying 'bollocks' alot.
Too BusyI've folded all my laundryand put it in the drawer.I've changed my linen, made my bed,and swept my bedroom floor. I've emptied out the garbageand fixed tomorrow's lunch.I've baked some cookies...
Did you slip in some cheese? Did it make you hate cheese, which you had previously loved? Why not sue a cheese-maker? Sue him for all the cheese he's got, drive him out of the cheese-making business!D...
Most people want to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
Eternal nothingness is okay if you are dressed for it.
I promise to pay you before you die - but you have to promise not to die.
Sadly, I hate foreigners. And Americans. And animals. And flora, and some fauna. Also the magma that is the very core of this our mother earth. I'm full o' hate!
I, being born a woman and distressedBy all the needs and notions of my kind,Am urged by your propinquity to findYour person fair, and feel a certain zestTo bear your body's weight upon my breast;So su...
Leave any problem alone for long enough and it will solve itself.
I shall never have a bath again," I said. "Just dont have one too often," my grandmother said. "Once a month is quite enough for a sensible child." It was at times like these that I loved my grandmoth...
I am who I am and that's who I am
All I had was a dream and six million pounds.'Denholm, The IT Crowd
Whether we are trying to buy a packet of chips or getting to know a person for a potentially important relationship, its nice to have an overview of what it/he/she contains. - Of A Sense of Self
We could all use the power of prayer now and then, but it seems to me that the people who are sure they have a direct line to heaven are most often calling collect with bad news.
While an author is yet living we estimate his powers by his worst performance, and when he is dead we rate them by his best.
I am irritated by my own writing. I am like a violinist whose ear is true, but whose fingers refuse to reproduce precisely the sound he hears within.
So it's off with the shellsuit and on with the Armanis,Bring out the champagne and the caviar sarnies
For any given problem, if there's a simple solution it will already have been applied. So, perhaps, the solution isn't as simple as you think.
Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death,...
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.