Top Humour Quotes

He hated being filled with terror. It was embarrassing.

He says that it is good luck to rub the head of a dwarf, Haldon said after an exchange with the guard in his own tongue.Tyrion forced himself to smile at the man. Tell him that it is even better luck...

I attributed their behavior to the fact that they didn't have a TV, but television didn't teach you everything. Asking for candy on Halloween was called trick-or-treating, but asking for candy on Nove...

I don't suppose you would consider peaceful surrender?

I must own, too, that I can't be astonished at his being vexed to death over this business. It is excessively awkward! However, he doesn't lay the blame for that at my door: you mustn't think that!I s...

I surround myself with all eight throw pillows while hugging two. What is so bad and uninteresting about me, Alex? Peter was the fifth break up––Sixth– –Sixth break up in the last two years. And I’m a...

It’s a popular fact that 90 percent of the brain is not used and, like most popular facts, it is wrong. . . . It is used. One of its functions is to make the miraculous seem ordinary, to turn the unus...

Listen, I didn’t ask for a face and body girls find attractive. But thanks to the mixture of my parents’ DNA, I’ve got them, and I’m not ashamed to use ’em.

Lord Daner isn't my boyfriend, Eleret said, annoyed. She'd let it go by once, but after two mentions, she had to correct him. Karvonen would drive her crazy if he kept referring to Daner that way.Huh....

Never did she find anything so difficult as to keep herself from losing her temper when she was suddenly disturbed while absorbed in a book.

Prime numbers are useful for writing codes and in America they are classed as Military Material and if you find one over 100 digits you have to tell the CIA and they buy it off you for $10,000. But it...

Some drink to forget, I drink to remember. I drink in order to understand what I mean and to discover what I know. Under its benign influence all the stories and dramas which properly belong to the sp...

The club is too loud to talk, so after a couple of drinks, everyone feels like the centre of attention but completely cut off from participating with anyone else. You're the corpse in an English murde...

The menu at the Hug Deli included, among other items, the Warm and Fuzzy Hug, the Beverly Hills Air Kiss Hug, and the Gangsta Hug, with side orders of Pinch, Tickle, and Back Scratch. She ordered the...

What I still don’t get though, ventured John. Is why you did it?Did what?Put that dress on in the first place.I don’t know really, said Dennis, a puzzled look crossing his face. I suppose it’s because...

For any given problem, if there's a simple solution it will already have been applied. So, perhaps, the solution isn't as simple as you think.

So it's off with the shellsuit and on with the Armanis,Bring out the champagne and the caviar sarnies

A halo is a cock ring for the soul.

Nothing great is ever accomplished by following standards.

One of the poets, whose name I cannot recall, has a passage, which I am unable at the moment to remember, in one of his works, which for the time being has slipped my mind, which hits off admirably th...