A werewolf is courting me with a dead rabbit. There's nothing subtle here.Couldn't have been flowers, she muttered as she slid on her rubber boots by the door.He gave you flowers, I reminded her as sh...
You told him, huh? Through your secret wizarding network that you still haven’t told me about.It’s called a letter in the mail, he said.
You okay, Sam?Ha-ha, why wouldn’t I be? Everything is peachy! I’m okay. I’m than okay.Okay. I only ask because you haven’t stopped staring at me for the last four hours.You lie with all your lies!
It’ll be the Date to End All Dates, I told Gary as he nosed his way through my closet. And yes, before you ask, it is capitalized just like it sounds. Great plans should always be capitalized.
I told the Kid I thought Wednesday was Latin for Satan, and that we probably shouldn't do it then because it might be bad luck. The Kid then proceeded to tell me what the word Wednesday actually means...
I like your shoes, I said. Because I did. They were pink and pointed, and I wanted a pair like that so bad. My mom and dad groaned. Morgan looked at me and cocked his head.Thank you, little one. I mad...
He looked closely. It was very disconcerting to have your gay unicorn best friend studying your penis that intensely. Finally, he gave his verdict. It’s a very nice penis. Thank
Somewhere, a bird sang a song that ached.
I bet he wants to solve Ryan’s riddle, Mary said. And then he probably wants to riddle his Ryan.
And if there is one last thing I would have you know before we reach these final pages, it's that sometimes, no matter how hard we try, no matter how hard we want it to be so, sometimes there is no su...
Way gay, I reassured him. Like, super gay. I fart and rainbows come out. Oh, crap.
I wasn’t smiling, he said. I was doing lip stretches.
I do love you. You’ve broken my heart, but it was mine to give.
I am a strong, independent unicorn,and I will not take your shit.
Dragons, I said. They’re hoarders. They keep the things they think are pretty. Gold and jewels. In this case, Justin. To each his own, I guess.
Today has been so weird, I side-whispered to Gary. I think the word you’re looking for is erotic, he said back. Today has been so erotic.
Sam’s just dealing with some issues. He recently came to the realization that he’s a twenty-year-old virgin prude.
Joe was Joe was Joe.
It’s Helena Handbasket.
He smiled at me, and it was a thing of dark malevolence. It means, he said, that we can double date. Just the four of us. Doesn’t that sound like fun? And I thought there was a distinct possibility th...