The commander went, as they say in Ankh-Morpork, totally Librarian on them.
I get it,' said the prisoner. 'Good Cop, Bad Cop, eh?'If you like.' said Vimes. 'But we're a bit short staffed here, so if I give you a cigarette would you mind kicking yourself in the teeth?
The only things known to go faster than ordinary light is monarchy, according to the philosopher Ly Tin Weedle. He reasoned like this: you can't have more than one king, and tradition demands that the...
The first question they ask is: "Why was he eternally surprised?"And they were told: "Wen considered the nature of time and understood the universe is, instant by instant, re-created anew. Therefore,...
Tiffany was on the whole quite a truthful person, but it seemed to her that there were times when things didn’t divide easily into ‘true’ and ‘false’, but instead could be ‘things that people needed t...
War, Nobby. Huh! What is it good for? he said. Dunno, Sarge. Freeing slaves, maybe?Absol—well, okay. Defending yourself against a totalitarian aggressor?All right, I'll grant you that, but—Saving civi...
If per capita was a problem, decapita could be arranged
Current theories on the creation of the Universe state that, if it were created at all and didn't just start, as it were, unofficially, it came to being between ten and twenty thousand million years a...
He didn't administer a reign of terror, just the occasional light shower.
Silverfish looked down.Oh. Are you a dwarf?Cuddy gave him a blank stare.Are you a giant? He said.Me? Of course not!Ah. Then I must be a dwarf, yes.
Men marched away, Vimes. And men marched back. How glorious the battles would have been that they never had to fight!
We (people) only remembered that elves sang. But we forgot what they sang about.
He talks pretty big for a gutter wizard, he muttered.You don't understand at all, said the wizard wearily. I'm so scared of you my spine has turned to jelly, it's just that I'm suffering from an overd...
A European says: I can't understand this, what's wrong with me? An American says: I can't understand this, what's wrong with him?I make no suggestion that one side or other is right, but observation o...
The intelligence of that creature known as a crowd is the square root of the number of people in it.
Where do you think they've gone?' he said.'Where what?' said Lady Ramkin, temporarily halted.'The dragons. You know. Errol and his wi - female.''Oh, somewhere isolated and rocky, I should imagine,' sa...
That's No'-as-big-as-Medium-Sized-Jock-but-bigger-than-Wee-Jock-Jock, mistress,' said Not-as-big-as-Medium-Sized-Jock-but-bigger-than-Wee-Jock-Jock. 'Ye were one jock short,' he added helpfully.
Hat = wizard, wizard = hat. Everything else is frippery.
At such times the universe gets a little closer to us. They are strange times, times of beginnings and endings. Dangerous and powerful. And we feel it even if we don't know what it is. These times are...
You know, you're rather amusingly wrong.