Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment.
I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.
Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.
A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.
I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.
The only cure for a real hangover is death.
Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.
It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.
Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?
Streets flooded. Please advise.
In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.
Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
Go jogging? And get hit by a meteor?
Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.
Let's get out of these wet clothes and into a dry martini.
Central Park is the grandiose symbol of the front yard each child in New York hasn't got.
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
New York - The city where the people from Oshkosh look at the people from Dubuque in the next theater seats and say "These New Yorkers don't dress any better than we do.
It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.
There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them.