“ Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny! Mitch Hedberg
“ I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later. Mitch Hedberg
“ I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific. Mitch Hedberg
“ I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality. Mitch Hedberg
“ I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming. Mitch Hedberg
“ The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall. Mitch Hedberg
“ I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time. You don't have to fry them again after all. Mitch Hedberg
“ I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle. Mitch Hedberg
