I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit.' As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you'r...
Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show.
Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'
This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... it's dirty.
If my kid couldn't draw I'd make sure that my kitchen magnets didn't work.
I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart.