AtomicQuote

Mitch Hedberg Quote

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.

Mitch Hedberg

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.

Tags: birthday, cake, candle, buy

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You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

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You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

Tags: birthday, cake, know, you

Why this candle?Why this cake?The day of my birth is not today.I was born when you said, 'Hey.

Kamand Kojouri

Why this candle?Why this cake?The day of my birth is not today.I was born when you said, 'Hey.

Tags: anniversary, birth, birthday, birthday cake, birthday candle, birthday card, birthday poem, birthday wish, born, cake

Thirty was so strange for me. I've really had to come to terms with the fact that I am now a walking and talking adult.

C. S. Lewis

Thirty was so strange for me. I've really had to come to terms with the fact that I am now a walking and talking adult.

Tags: birthday, i am, walking, me

This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn't let me - Homeland Security.

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This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn't let me - Homeland Security.

Tags: birthday, me, celebrate, security

Success is like reaching an important birthday and finding you're exactly the same.

Audrey Hepburn

Success is like reaching an important birthday and finding you're exactly the same.

Tags: birthday, success, finding, you

Lucy took care of me on the set, and made sure that none of the crew cussed around me. She also had birthday parties for me and made sure that they were well attended.

Keith Thibodeaux

Lucy took care of me on the set, and made sure that none of the crew cussed around me. She also had birthday parties for me and made sure that they were well attended.

Tags: birthday, me, care, she

My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.

Jim Valvano

My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.

Tags: birthday, believe, believe in yourself, believed, dad, faith, father, gift, love, parenting

May the love in your heart overshadow any sorrows, and may you always know with a deep inner certainty, how loved you truly are.

Jodi Livon

May the love in your heart overshadow any sorrows, and may you always know with a deep inner certainty, how loved you truly are.

Tags: affirmation, birthday, love, peace, for women, on life, spirituality, wishes

One of the main functions of a push-up bra is to lower the number of mothers who seem like mothers.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

One of the main functions of a push-up bra is to lower the number of mothers who seem like mothers.

Tags: abort, abortion, adage, adages, adopt, adoption, aphorism, aphorisms, axiom, axioms

Entrepreneurs don't have weekends or birthdays or holidays. Every day is my weekend, my birthday, my holiday. OR, every day is my work day. Mostly it's a choice.

Richie Norton

Entrepreneurs don't have weekends or birthdays or holidays. Every day is my weekend, my birthday, my holiday. OR, every day is my work day. Mostly it's a choice.

Tags: be proactive, birthday, choice, choices and consequences, entertainment, enthusiasm, entitlement, entrepreneur, entrepreneurial, entrepreneurs
About Mitch Hedberg

Mitchell Lee Hedberg (February 24, 1968 – March 30, 2005) was an American stand-up comedian known for his surreal humor and deadpan delivery. His comedy typically featured short, sometimes one-line jokes mixed with absurd elements and non sequiturs.Hedberg's comedy and onstage persona gained him a cult following, with audience members sometimes shouting out the punchlines to his jokes before he could finish them.