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Mitch Hedberg Quote

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

Mitch Hedberg

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

Tags: dating, woman, me, know

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There would definitely be way fewer instances of cheating, if the average couple did not have sex only when the woman feels like it.

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There would definitely be way fewer instances of cheating, if the average couple did not have sex only when the woman feels like it.

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There is nothing inherently painful about being cheated on.

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There is nothing inherently painful about being cheated on.

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Rejection is an opportunity for your selection.

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Rejection is an opportunity for your selection.

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Love is fierce like a lion; once it has entered the heart, it is in vain to resist.

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Love is fierce like a lion; once it has entered the heart, it is in vain to resist.

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He who is jealous is better off not dating someone who is bisexual.

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He who is jealous is better off not dating someone who is bisexual.

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The distance between you and the door when you have had enough of your spouse is love.

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When you love someone, you end up caring about each and every person they love. When you hate someone, you end up caring about every single person who hates them.

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When you love someone, you end up caring about each and every person they love. When you hate someone, you end up caring about every single person who hates them.

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A kiss a day keeps your wife's wrath away.

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A kiss a day keeps your wife's wrath away.

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Once you embrace your value, talents and strengths, it neutralizes when others think less of you.

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Once you embrace your value, talents and strengths, it neutralizes when others think less of you.

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In the end, you will not see the physical beauty in others that caught your eye, but the fire that burned within them. This kind of beauty is the bonfire you had to attend.

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In the end, you will not see the physical beauty in others that caught your eye, but the fire that burned within them. This kind of beauty is the bonfire you had to attend.

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About Mitch Hedberg

Mitchell Lee Hedberg (February 24, 1968 – March 30, 2005) was an American stand-up comedian known for his surreal humor and deadpan delivery. His comedy typically featured short, sometimes one-line jokes mixed with absurd elements and non sequiturs.
Hedberg's comedy and onstage persona gained him a cult following, with audience members sometimes shouting out the punchlines to his jokes before he could finish them.