I liked hanging out with my family! Later, when you’re grown up, you realize you never get to hang out with your family. You pretty much have only eighteen years to spend with them full time, and that...
I kind of killed it in college. You know that saying big fish in a small pond? At Dartmouth college, I was freakin' Jaws in a community swimming pool.
I guess nothing puts a damper on a one-night stand as much as your friend pointing out all the opportunities where you might have been killed.
I don’t wake up in the morning, look at my naked body in the mirror, and say, Good morning, body. Once again, you’ve nailed it, you gorgeous imperfect thing. That wobbly patch of cellulite? A miracle....
I didn't completely forget how to be nice or feminine because I have a career.
I am a confident writer, a hothead, and have a very thin skin for any criticism. This charming combination of personality traits makes me an argument machine on our staff.
I also did that thing that corrupt politicians do where I hired all my friends to work with me, so that’s very nice as well. I like to think of myself as the Rod Blagojevich of television.
Hard work is such a weird thing. As children and teenagers you are told it's a really good thing, but for adults it suddenly becomes the worst thing in the world.
GHOSTBUSTERS I always wanted the reboot of Ghostbusters to be four girl-ghostbusters. Like, four normal, plucky women living in New York City searching for Mr. Right and trying to find jobs—but who al...
FAR SIDE: We know you’re on Twitter. (Leaning in conspiratorially) And if you’re willing to tweet about loving Sunshine Cupcakes, this cupcake (gesturing to the one I was buying) is free. I did not kn...
Entitlement is simply the belief that you deserve something. Which is great. The hard part is, you'd better make sure you deserve it. So, how did I make sure that I deserved it?To answer that, I would...
Cinch together the whole look with a wide belt was a very popular style in the early 2000s, which we believed accentuated our curves but in reality made a generation of women look like we were wearing...
But it took me twelve weeks to realize that I don’t really like organizations where people are deemed things. I should mention that I did learn a few undeniably useful things at my sorority,
But for years I just chose to never do any strength training because it seemed hard. It wasn’t until a particularly disturbing night when I couldn’t lift myself off the sofa because of lack of upper b...
Aspen was so expensive I was surprised it wasn’t entirely populated with the children of Middle Eastern oil moguls.
As it is, I guess I find Jack and Diane a little disgusting.As a child of immigrant professionals, I can't help but notice the wasteful frivolity of it all. Why are these kids not at home doing their...
And these days, I find I’m caring less and less about what people think of me. Maybe it’s my age, maybe it’s my security in my career, maybe it’s because I’m skrilla flush with that dollah-dollah-bill...
And the stairs. Oh, the stairs. The staircase in our third-floor walk-up was the steepest, hardest, metal-est staircase I have ever encountered in my life. It was a staircase for killing someone and m...
And the scary thing I have noticed is that some people really feel uncomfortable around women who don't hate themselves. So that's why you need to be a little bit brave.
A remarkable thing about me is that the time that elapses between a sad thought and a flood of tears is three or four seconds.