I'm in a Roadrunner cartoon, Sinclair. And I'm the coyote.
Given his family history, it was absurd how all his prison knowledge came from Sons of Anarchy reruns. Ooh, that Gemma! What a wonderful bitch. The
I'm not playing vamp politics.
Have you lost your teeny tiny mind, you too-tall, too-skinny, too-crazy jerk?Oh, look who’s talking, Miss Let’s Blunder Around the Time Stream and Hang the Consequences! Thanks to you, we’ve got a dea...
Don't look at his groin. Don't look at his groin. Don't mention that he doesn't have a vagina, so 'we' is bullshit. This is not the time to mention your pet peeve about expectant fathers talking how '...
Worse, she never hesitated to play the depression card to
I always knew I'd keep at it with the plodding doggedness that I used to master lump-less gravy and wriggle out of fitness classes; I always knew I'd get a zillion rejection slips. I figured I'd write...
I once came back from a book tour where sleek black cars driven by nice men in black suits waited for me at every hotel, took me to every signing, brought me back, opened car doors for me. They were g...
Why is it suddenly uncool to spell? That's all I want to know.
Delk shifted in his chair, the arrow point never wavering. What do you want?Oh, the usual.World peace, a pair of Christian Louboton heels, a perfect wedding.
The man had a dick on him that wouldn’t quit.
I know it's practical for career women, but sneakers with suits? Jesus couldn't possibly weep harder than I did.
Hell couldn't be worse than a WalMart after midnight, right?
It's a long story. Prepared to be regaled.
I just assumed you were straight.Because you are. - I always assume everyone is gay.
I used to be a model and a medical test subject, though never at the same time. And since we didn't have much money when I was a kid, I know how to fish and hunt for my supper. And I used to win award...
I've been stabbed before. Barely a week ago, in fact. AND I've been audited, AND I come from a broken home. In short - no offense, shorty - you don't scare me.
Yeah, well, it's been a super fun week. And by 'super fun' I mean 'horrible and endless'.
So you're a vampire?Yes. But don't be scared. I'm still a nice person.
Leave it to a vampire to think a healthy guy in his late thirties or early forties was on his deathbed.