I have admired W.C. Fields since the day he advanced upon Baby LeRoy with an ice pick. Any man who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad.
I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
You must lose a fly to catch a trout.
One bliss for which there is no match is when you itch to up and scratch.
Worthless as wither'd weeds.
In baiting a mousetrap with cheese always leave room for the mouse.
Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.
Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a man who can't put his pants on.
Shake a bridle over a Yorkshireman's grave and he'll rise and steal a horse.
When I'm good, I'm very good. But when I'm bad I'm better.
If you can't bite don't show your teeth.
