You have some kind of food in a safe? Is that, uh... safe?Yes. You may relax and depend on my methods of preservation.
You can be told that reading Victor Hugo will sap your will to live, but you can’t understand what that means until you’ve read a few chapters and your eyes have glazed over and someone has to revive...
With dogs you just go up and smell their asses and you know where you stand. It’s so much easier. Why can’t humans do that?
Why content ourselves with meager fish when we can eat our own animals, the God asked. I can not eat my own ass, though I thought it should be obvious to him. He carries me where so ever I wish.
What’s the point of fighting for your friends’ lives and stuff if you don’t live your life with them?>
What? Who? You can't throw around pronouns like that without their antecedents if you want people to follow you.
What is all this melodrama? Just because they’ve never heard of your favorite thing doesn’t mean they hate their lives or they need your sympathy or need you to come along and show them how to fix it....
What are you so pleased about?I only drink a little at a time, like half a cup ever four or five months, to maintain my current age. Half a cup has a mild laxative effect.What kind of effect?Laxative....
What Sherlock does is train his mind to remember details, access them as needed, and then spy the hidden pattern in them. It’s like spotting animals in clouds: The vapor’s the same for everyone, but s...
Wait! I shouted, chasing after him. Leaves sawed at my face and arms as I crashed into the undergrowth. I have questions! How do I know this is real? What if it’s just a dream with a lowercase d? What...
That was it. Owen grabbed his arm, yanked it toward him, and head-butted the punk. He went down with a yelp and Owen stood up, kicking his chair away behind him. Respect your elders, lad!The inn got q...
People today think ancient Egypt was ineffably cool. I blame this misconception on hieroglyphics and (to a lesser extent) on the Bangles.
Pardon me, is this some kind of social experiment? You want me to get a hundred and forty-four Samoans and cram them into your cabin with a case of whiskey?
Out of the steam and the foam and the froth, a man in white with poor eyesight will craft a liquid paradox, and it shall be called the Triple Nonfat Double Bacon Five-Cheese Mocha!>
Lolcat iz new happeh wai 2 talk, I explained to them. U doan haz 2 be kitteh 2 speek it.
Like many silly codes of bravery and manliness, the meat of my father’s instruction on how to die well can be distilled to a simple slogan: Die angry at maximum volume. (Dying silently is out of the q...
It comes down to the fact that he serves a different value system than any human one. I pointed out that Gaia was interested in protecting the vitality and variety of life on the whole planet. Broadly...
I know that when ye think o’ love you’re supposed to think o’ kissy faces and scented soap and hummin’ happy songs together, but there’s another vital part to it that people rarely admit to themselves...
Gaia has left us wonder wherever we go, if we only open our eyes to it. ~ Atticus
And perfect contentment, that sublime moment when you’re at peak anticipation for something and you know you’ll get it soon. I often think that moment is better in some ways than getting the thing its...